Yes I also think that Rohiniranjan was never intending this to be a reading, but following the golden rule of always treating other people as I would want to be treated if our roles had been reversed, I thought that I would do the decent thing and check it out first with the source.
We clearly have much in common with regards to both suffering with chronic anxiety and depression and PTSD is definitely not confined exclusively to soldiers returning home from the battlefield. To people like yourself who are doing their very best to cope with the strains and stresses of their daily lives, it can feel like a battle a lot of the time? Social phobia is something else again. Having both at the same time hardly seems fair.
Anyone who follows my readings would know that I am hesitant to predict what the next six months could be like, because that will be largely determined by what we each as individuals consciously decide to do in the present moment with the intention to help and heal ourselves. And if nothing else is clear from your reading, it is that if they were handing out medals for courage and perseverance in the face of adversity and challenges, you should be at the head of the queue for getting such an award.
Now this reading could I suppose tell (lie to) you that there will be no further significant challenges waiting ahead for you over the coming six months, but it would be a lie and I would not wish to give you false hope in place of a real and lasting sense of positive hope for the future that things will get better. Also I would not wish to insult your intelligence by trying to convince you that your life will not continue to have its ups and downs, good and not so good days and those dark days where even getting out of bed seems pointless and more than we can deal with.
While your reading is certainly not in any way minimising or ignoring the incredible difficulties you inevitably face on an ongoing basis with your condition, what we focus our minds upon most regularly tends to draw into our lives the very factors which would lead to more of the same. Not thinking about your many problems in coping with your illness is not going to make it go away, but constantly focussing upon them can easily become a self fulfilling negative prophecy about what could go wrong next.
The main problem is that when we are in such a distressed mental state of mind we withdraw into an inner world of our own where temporary distractions which would help to get our mind off our problems for a while are not able to readily penetrate the protective wall which we build around ourselves, and bring us some relief.
The question I am now asking my inner guidance is with reference to how you could slowly but surely take down your wall one or a couple of bricks at a time during the period of the next half year, but still feel confident enough to want to continue to tear it down because you no longer need it to protect you because you are now a stronger person within yourself.
As I have said many times to other members during their readings, walls are often not very selective in what they keep in or out. Sure they may keep the bad feelings out for a while, but they also keep the bad feelings which are already there IN with us. Also they are very good at keeping the good feelings from getting IN to us in our mental prison cell.
If we do not feel that we are being attacked or are in any danger, becoming defensive and keeping these protective walls at their maximum height and strength is no longer as necessary as before, but of course we are likely never to be able to dispense completely with these walls. That would be foolish and potentially fatal. Walls do serve a useful purpose, but only up to a certain point and only for a limited time.
I would interpret your reading to mean that approximately between now and the beginning of June 2013 (~ 6 months) there is a real opportunity for you to make major inroads or progress on the front of slowly disassembling or de-constructing the protective wall which you have built around your heart and your mind for a very logical reason.
So that is where the reading sees you having something worthwhile and lasting to hope for over the next semi year. Not a dishonest fortune telling prediction that your life for the next six months is going to be without its problems, but an actual practical suggestion of the methods by which you can help yourself take down that wall at your own comfortable pace,
BUT STILL FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO CONTINUE TO TAKE IT APART.
At the start of every day commit yourself to doing something that you would not have done the day before. Start small and gradually work up to taking bigger risks. You will undoubtedly require professional medical help and support in your ongoing struggle to relatively free yourself from these walls.
This is not a sign of any weakness in your character.
Instead it is a graphic sign or impressive demonstration of your courage and sheer determination to not allow these mental/emotional walls to permanently imprison you. You deserve only the very best from your life, and there are plenty of people both online or off, or professional or non professional who are waiting and willing to assist you, IF YOU ONLY ASK THEM TO AND ACCEPT THE HELP WHICH THEY GIVE YOU, WHEN THEY GIVE IT.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT
