Questioning and searching...

[torn2light]

Hi everybody,

I'm new to this site and have so many questions...not sure where to start. Mainly here because I'm trying to figure out what kind of gift I have, if any. Have had some strange experiences in my life and have always had a strong intuition/connection with....I don't know what. Would like to find out. I'm also very sensitive to energy and vibrations from everyone, everywhere, and crystals/stones. I need help figuring out what I am and what I'm capable of. I'm scared to know but I think I can handle whatever now.

A little background....

I was raised a very sheltered home-schooled Christian girl and was taught that pretty much everything on this site is evil and to stay away. I have tried various religions and still Jesus' teachings holds true for me. I also find truth in many other religions too. I've always had this nudge to dig deeper into who I am and if I possess any kind of gift. Currently, I feel called to healing and am attending school to become a massage therapist. Very interested in energy healing of all sorts.

Experiences....

I've always been terrified of the dark. To this day I am. What 26 year old is scared of the dark? I feel so stupid.

At 14,  I started having VERY vivid detailed dreams. One dream that has always stood out to me involved a snake. Before the snake bit me, my eyes shot open and the snake was laying next to me and when it knew I saw it, the snake flew around my room and out my window. It was so real that I shot up and felt my window and looked around. My window was closed. Reality set in and I realized it was just a dream. I've also seen shadows in the dark. One that really scared me resembled a man in huge shackles and walked from one end of my room and out the other. I've also felt like I have been watched so much to the point I nearly wet my bed. I would run to my parents room while "being chased". I think w/e it was liked to scare me and fed off my fear. I've also had a deep fear of aliens. I'm very protective of the area behind my elbows/knees. I always pass out for blood tests....hate them.

At 18, I'm still not sure what happened, but a dark smoke filled one corner of my room and paralyzed me and told me to renounce Christ. It was so powerful I couldn't even think, speak, or cry. It was hard to even pray inside my head. I felt like I had no other option and was so afraid. I then felt a being of light holding my head in it's lap and saying it was going to be okay and that he understood. I took this being as Christ himself but still question whether or not it was "true" light and not something deceptive. I did renounce Christ and when I did the dark smoke disappeared through one of my orifices. From that day on, I thought I had been possessed and fearful of this I re-baptized. This being inside my head haunted me and I referred to him as shadow lord. He was beautiful with jet black hair and flawless pale skin with a red shirt and baggy black pants. Very possessive and controlling. If I questioned him he got angry. He didn't like me taking my pills. He said if I took them I would die of a heart condition at 24. I took them anyway and told him to leave me alone. I felt something travel up my spine into my head under the back of my skull. Life seemed to improve after that and I pretend none of this ever happened. It still scares me though. Around that same time, I sensed dead people in the laundry room. When this happened, I would run to my family. The energy of my family members kept them at a distance.

At 21, I started living with who is now my husband in the home he was raised in. He had lived in this house 27 years. His parents bought it from a doctor who had done some in home services...not sure what exactly. During these years, various dysfunctional relatives stayed in the basement. Recovering alcoholics, satanists, and those with financial issues. It has been a safe haven to many. Many negative emotions still lingered when I entered the scene even after a sage cleansing years before. I felt like the world was caving in around me. I also felt eyes burning into me. I felt some being breathing down my neck. I couldn't walk anywhere w/o being watched/followed. I also pretended like the boiler room didn't exist. It has the worse aura about it. It creeps everyone out I've ever shown. My mom and friends I know who aren't normally sensitive to these things feel off in the basement. My husband exorcised the house after I told him a dream I had and it's felt clear since then. He also told me of past paranormal experiences he'd witnessed. Someone running up and down the stairs when he's the only one home, the trashcan lid flying off while playing video games, messing with the clock (buttons made noise when adjusting it and it crowed like a rooster for the alarm), and jiggling doorknobs. Anyway, everything seems clear now. I think we've filled it with more positive energy than negative since the exorcism.

I had a psychic friend that suggested I learn to close my chakras and that I was too open. I didn't think much of it at the time but it makes sense. Wondering if I have a gift or if I'm just being oppressed by some entity. If anybody can clue me into what is going on I'd appreciate it. Thanks

[eye_of_tiger]

Welcome,

The first four lines only are your introduction.

I have copied the rest of your posting to the psychic forum, where it can be better discussed.

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... 966#331966

There is no need for you to do anything else with this posting, and we will see you on the psychic forum.

Regards,

EoT  :smt003