Reading request from anyone who's available.

[marriamb]

Hi. I've had a pretty hard time following (Removed for privacy reasons). I've suffered from really bad depression since then. It may get better sometimes but then it comes back and a whole lot worse.I have also had really bad (Removed for privacy reasons), which has worsened my condition. I cant seem to find peace. I also get really depressed because of (Removed for privacy reasons). I just wanna know when this will end because I desperately want it to. When will I be able to move on from everything and find that one person who makes it better for me?

Thanks in advance. Your contribution is much appreciated.

[eye_of_tiger]

Hi. I've had a pretty hard time following my mother's death three years back. She was only 43 and I was 18. I've suffered from really bad depression since then. It may get better sometimes but then it comes back and a whole lot worse.I have also had really bad relationship problems and suffered from heartbreak, which has worsened my condition. I cant seem to find peace. I also get really depressed because of scars I have from really bad acne I had in the past. I just wanna know when this will end because I desperately want it to. When will I be able to move on from everything and find that one person who makes it better for me?

Thanks in advance. Your contribution is much appreciated.

Welcome Marriam,

You are asking me to predict the future, when there is not yet one future to predict. You are continuously helping to shape what that future will turn out to be mainly by what you do to help yourself in the present moment. Instead of one future, there are many possible ones, from which eventually  one will be selected as your personal reality. One of the things which often most disappoints our newer members about having a psychic reading on this forum is that we never attempt to make a guess as to exactly how your future will turn out. We focus instead on what you can humanly do with the intention to make that future a more positive one, both for yourself and for your your loved ones. What actions are likely to lead to the best outcome, instead of amateur attempts at fortune telling or making an educated guess about future events which may or may not happen?

From my own lifetime experience of varying degrees of depression, I know that when you are feeling depressed you also feel powerless to help yourself. Depression is like being trapped in a world of your own where you cannot understand why people are feeling so positive and hopeful about their future, when the evidence is staring them squarely in the face that life and other people are often cruel and that bad things continue to happen to good people. We only realise just how depressed we were after we have been temporarily released from our mental prison cell. When we are still in it, even our most extreme, dark thoughts seem perfectly logical and unquestionably correct.

Although it is almost inevitable that we will outlive our parents, this does not in any way cushion or protect us from the feeling that our whole world has ended. You are I believe still deeply grieving for your mother, and this major shock to your system has come on top of the accumulated damage which had been done to your self confidence by both the chronic acne as well as a series of failed relationships. Any of these insults to your feelings of self worth and self respect would have been enough by itself to overpower your coping mechanisms, but when combined it was either you get depressed or go crazy.With neither of these two options being particularly inviting.

Do not let anyone tell you that you should not feel the way that you do. Trying to suppress your feelings could work in the short term, but eventually it is like a pressure cooker waiting to explode or a ticking time bomb. Our feelings must be released and faced, although in a healthy way.

Depression is neither conducive to good health nor us being alive, so we need to somehow find an alternative response to the slings and arrows of misfortune. This search for other more healthy options most likely will require the help of a qualified doctor or mental health professional (e.g. counsellor) to give you added strength to last the distance. Our habits built up over a period of many years are not going to be reversed or removed effectively overnight. We are in it for the long haul?

The road to your recovery lies according to the reading in you learning to love yourself more, for I get a feeling with you that you have started to believe that most of the bad things which have happened to you so far were almost entirely your fault. You may understandably believe that you are somehow destined to continue to ONLY HAVE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU. There is never a good time for our parents to die, but when you are on the threshold of becoming an adult at the tender age of 18, the damage done to your feelings that your life has a greater purpose must be greatly magnified.

Self love means to value and respect yourself more. Love your neighbour (anybody other than you), but first learn to value and respect your humanity. Human beings are far from being perfect. We all make mistakes and growing up means taking greater responsibility for our mistakes. If indeed they were our mistakes.

The whole point is that your acne was mostly hormonal in origin, and had virtually nothing at all to do with you not keeping your skin clean enough. It is true that each person in a relationship must accept some share of responsibility if that relationship should later fail, but I feel that your ex partners have tried to make these relationship problems entirely your fault.

And you are absolutely not responsible for your mother's death, even though you may be inwardly punishing yourself into believing (magical thinking) that if only you had been there more often for her or you had done more for her or if you had called the doctor when she would not, that she might still be with us three years later.

Even a hardened criminal or murderer has his or her legal right to prove their innocence, but you appear to have appointed yourself as being your own judge, jury and executioner for things over which you had little if any control to change. You will not give yourself a fair trial or public hearing. We are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty of a crime, and not the other way around as you seem to be doing to yourself.

There are plenty of people both professional and non professional who can help you to love yourself more, but one critical first condition for you to get the help you so badly and urgently need is to ask. You have taken a very big step towards your full recovery which I see as almost inevitable by requesting this reading and making both a new friend and your first contact on Mystic Board who is here to help and support you any way that he can, while working within the forum rules and guidelines.

Let this be the first of many other small and big steps towards your ultimate freedom from chronic and severe depression. There will always be some valid reasons for you feeling depressed, no matter what you do or do not do.

"Please Read Before Requesting a Reading"

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=73424

"We do not predict your future (including your love life)"

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=78934

"Introducing eye_of_tiger"

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=73891

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT

[marriamb]

Thank you so much for the reading and suggestions!

[marriamb]

You're right. I do feel like I'm destined to have bad things happen to me. And I do realise I need help and I can get better. Thank you for the encouagement!

One thing I missed out was how I was pushed into more depression after (Removed for privacy reasons).  I specifically stay stressed because of this too. Could that be true?

[eye_of_tiger]

Dear Marriam,

You are very welcome for the reading.

While there is no doubt in my mind that your father remarrying only nine months after your mother's death has added in some degree to your existing stress levels, I am not a qualified psychologist and nothing more came out of your reading to be able to shed further light on exactly how much of a role this played.

Loving regards,

EoT