Doubtful Medium

[Crow]

I'm having a little problem with believing what is spiritual and what is psychosis. This has never happened to me. I believed in all things spiritual until my scare last year where I lost my mind.  Right now my chakra's are trying to fire up. I feel the tingles up the spine like I did the night that kicked it off.

When I smell orange out of no where. How do I know that this is not a message that I need to eat more oranges? Or is it just Psychosis again?

I know that we cannot diagnose here on MB.  But I feel a little lonely.  My guides still talk to me and tell me that all is well. Now I question them. I've always questioned them, but more than usual.

I think that maybe my gift in mediumship is hightening, but I do not know.  This breaks my heart to admit this. But I share in hopes that there are others like me who suffer from a mental illness and try to strengthen their gifts.

I learned that I do not know as much as I thought I did. And I was taking it to a very dark place.  My psychosis was an eye opener. At the same time it makes me question if there is even life after death.  I believed in reincarnation, now I don't know what to believe.

Have you ever had a life changing experience that makes you question the very core of your beliefs?

This is why I haven't really been posting much. I don't know if what I am saying is wrong, so I say nothing.  I used to run my mouth all the time. Now I see that I was foolish to do so.  Any one else out there who had this happen?

Safe Journey

[spiritalk]

When we think we are in charge and don't pay attention to spirit input, they will leave.  That is a given.  

The fact is that there are many things with the mind  as well as the spirit that we do not understand.  The important thing is to continue to grow in spirituality and see where it leads your life.  

Some experiences will not be to our liking, but isn't that true in all circumstances?  Be aware of your ultimate connection with your spirit guide.  That is from where your safety and protection stems.  Under no circumstances welcome all and sundry from the spirit world - attune ONLY to your own spirit guide.  In that way they can protect and guide you into elevating experiences of spirituality.

[Crow]

J,

Thank you for your replie.   In my case when I don't listen to my guides I usually get nipped in the rear!  During my psychosis they tried to calm me down while I was seeing and hearing all sorts of things that I hadn't before in my life.  In my mind I was screaming this is not real, this cannot be!

I will atune ONLY to my guides in the future.  They were trying to protect me last year but I was so scared.

Now I am on 3 anti psychotic meds but still have things comming through. Not sure if it is spiritual or psychosis. That is why I doubt.

I read using feelings, feelings have vibrations, vibrations have words. For me anyways.  So when I heard voices like an intercomn in my ear I freaked out!

I see the spirits in layers. Like cartoon film. It looks simular to that. And it is always black and white. When I had seen in color and in 4D it freaked me out again.

Now I smell things when spirits are around. I don't know if this is psychosis or just my mediumship improving. My guides tell me that it is. I just get scared.  I don't want to loose myself again.

I'm at the stage of not knowing what to believe in anymore.

Your help and kind words were greatly appriciated.

Safe Journey

[spiritalk]

This no man's land of belief is such a minefield.  We have to realize we are using all our senses from the material world - sight, sound, smell, taste, touch - tactile and emotional to open our psychic abilities.  We add 2 more:  intuition from the gut and I know from the heart.  

The last two may be the ones that help you understand yourself.  When you are attuning to spirit - make it your choice through meditation.  Use a symbol and a seat in your peace scene (from nature) to invite your guide (and only your guide).  As the energy changes (we do not need some name or great ID to respect and form our attunement) you are in tune with spirit realms. Use those psychic sensitivities to open to your guide.

BTW YOU are in charge of the process of attunement. Do not allow spirit to come to you at any random time.  If it is something happening treat it like other than spirit contact and send it away.  If you work consistently and constantly with spirit they will know how to help you differentiate.

God bless, J

[Crow]

J,

I will keep these things in mind. My spirits are  ones that speak at random.  When they want to say something they will.   And sometimes they have me cracking up. They are patient and very devoted.  I consider them my teachers in this life.  I didn't know how to be  in charge of the process of attunement.  For all this time I was just like a radio picking up signals that were coming in without knowing how to control it better.  When I think that I had conquered it, boom psychosis.

I will use the excersise you posted as well as those posted in the Mediumship part of the form.  Been a while since I've read the posts and I need brushing up.

Again I thank you for your time in posting a responce.  I'm feeling better about my spirituality now. As well as being a Medium.

Safe Journey