People tested, before having children...

[middi1]

Just some thoughts. No statements made here, just thoughts.

I wonder what our society would be like if Marriage and intense psychological testing, were mandatory before having children?

In order to get a descent job in these days, you have to have a high school diploma, or a GED.

In order to get a really good career going, you most likely will need a collage degree.

A doctor cannot operate on a patent without first going through years of extensive training, and practice on cadavers, and plastic models of patients.

A lawyer cannot prosecute or defend with out passing the bar exam.

Yet anyone can have a child.  I’ve worked with many children over the years.  I started teaching dance professionally when I was in high school.  And all throughout my career, I’ve not only been a teacher and mentor, but I’ve become the mother or the father that wasn’t there.  I’ve been the “unlicenced” counselor, listening to and giving advice to children’s various, and very troubling life situations.  And yet, the cycle of abuse, molestation, intolerance, mis -communicans, etc. are all still there.

True there are a lot of good parents out there, and some even fulfill that void in their children’s “friends” lives, and thank goodness for that.  But to the child, it’s not that same as having their own parents (relatives, guardians) do right by them.

True again, there are many places, that give free parenting classes, but is that really good enough? Being a parent is very hard.  It has it rewards, and disappointments.  

I wonder what it would be like, if we concentrated more on the rights and needs of “children” 1st, before we get all up in arms about, Gay rights and marriages..before the rights and freedom of other countries..before the rights of minorities (yes I am one) and etc.

I just wonder...if we could put children 1st, perhaps when they grow up , and become the leaders of our country...the world just might be a better place?

Thank You.

[MissEm]

Did you know in the old days (whenever that was) in Germany that people used to have to have blood tests done before they got married.  If it was foudn that you were too close in the family tree you were not allowed to get married because the risk of having a downs baby etc.. was too high and would have been far too much of a burden on society - financially and for appearances sake.

[MissEm]

What makes a good parent do you think?  How would it be policed?  Who knows what goes on behind closed doors.  There are many people that for outward appearances are nice and loving but in their own homes when the front door is shut, it is potnetially a different story.  How do you control or manage that?

I'm not picking on you at all but just posing questions.

I think its very idealistic for everyone to be good parents.  There are parenting classes when you go to have yr baby but its not compulsory and I'm not sure that htey go into any great detail.  I didn't go to clases when I had my daughter but then I'd like to think that I'm a good parent.

What do I base that on?  On the fact that I not only am able to feed, cloth and care for my child but I love her too.  I play and help her grow. I help her learn and have fun. I love her when she's happy and smiling or when she's being a little terror.  She's the blood of my blood, soul of my soul.  I get shitty with myself if I feel I've let her down at all.  I remember going to a mothers group meeting one day and I forgot her bottle (she was due about half way through for a feed) so I had to race home while one of the other mums looked after her - screaming the whole time.  I got so upset with myself for being such an idiot.

Not all mums (or dads) bond with their child.  Does that make them a bad parent?

Just a few things for consideration.

[swetha]

how do we decide how much responsibility does a parent have towards  their kid?
how do u decide? i am still to have one and sometimes i wonder.. whether i shall b able to do the kid any good or will i be a good parent or not..

[itsjustme08052]

there's no way to really predict how great you can be (even with all our heightened intuition)...most of us do the best we can...sometimes our desire to be a parent overshadows if we are really prepared for it or not...there so many different variables...I honestly think with the more children I had, my senses opened up more...it could be because I'm in tune with my children's needs or something more...but there's no real training that can be done other than hands on...just my opinion

[Deborah]

I got married 20 years ago .........such test were done! they stopped doing them   if your blood lines came to close ..drugs... disease all came out before marriage


genetics are done after your pregnant to see if you carry gene for children w/ issues (for lack of terms)


Parenting - comes from within ......the need to nurture the need to care ..just clicks...........and all first time parents all of them need help at one time or another.

[woven5]

I BELIEVE WE COME INTO THIS WORLD TO LEARN AND THAT WE CHOOSE OUR LIFE BEFORE WE ARE BORN .

OF COURSE THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE WITHOUT BEING RAPED, MOLESTED, ABUSED AND   DISCRIMINATED AGAINST BUT THEN AGAIN WE WOULD NEVER REALIZE HOW STRONG WE REALLY ARE.

NO ONE  REALLY  KNOWS  IF WE ARE CAPAPLE OF BEING A GOOD PARENT, SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW UNTIL WE GET THERE.

ALL OF THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME  IN THIS LIFE I HAD TO GO THROUGH FOR A REASON. IM OK WITH THAT.

                            WOVEN