Feeling sad and angry ...

jlo · Post by **jlo** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:43 pm

It's no big deal but I'm feeling sad .Today at a family gathering , relatives were talking about their children , discussing about babies and stuffs like that . And then one of them asked about my age . I think there was some uneasiness in the air just after that . Nobody said anything but I just know they were thinking that I should have settled down or should have been engaged by this age for a girl. I felt so bad and hurt . Suddenly I felt so old :( It's true that cousins my age or slightly younger than me were married or engaged. I feel so embarassed . It's not my fault if I couldn't find anyone or that I don't have an attractive personality :(I don't feel bad about being single as I've decided that it's best for my mental health to give up on love .. I feel worst with the questioning eyes of my close relatives who wonder why I have no one in my life :( I feel like they all feel sorry for me and I absolutely hate that .. In addition to this , my mom also indirectly said that she wonders what she'll do with a girl my age who is still single . I wished that I had the guts to tell everyone I want to remain single for life and there's nothing wrong with me !! I'm not old but this sick society makes me feel so ...

I feel like crying and staying away from people for a while . But I can't do that , have to go to work tomorrow .

I would appreciate a hug please ..

Amethyst-Jen · Post by **Amethyst-Jen** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:58 pm

A very big hug to you honey.  I'm 30 and not married or engaged, so don't feel bad!  It's not a horrible thing.  Your family just need to accept that your not going to settle for something that isn't right for you. Not everyone gets married when they're in their 20's and it doesn't mean that you're not worthy of a mans attention, or that your personality isn't attractive.  It just means that it isn't the right time for you.  

Do what I did, explain that you are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.  It's better to wait for the man of your dreams than settle for a man you may not love with all your heart.  If it never happens, SO BE IT!  It's not the end of the world, nor does it mean you are less of a person.

*HUG*

Cascade of Light · Post by **Cascade of Light** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:45 am

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{jlo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  First a hug for you, it must be very hard to have to cope with those words, try and ignore them, I love this saying

explain that you are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.

Very good

Take care xxxx

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:34 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug...much love and huggies

surinder · Post by **surinder** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:08 am

here is a big hug for you dear...

Post by **swetha** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:20 am

hello dear,
huggggg

dont you bother about the world.. live life your way as long. as you are happy, rest all can be handled!

jlo · Post by **jlo** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:37 pm

Thanks for your hugs and kind words everyone

I feel hurt and low when I have to deal with such situations . It's as if a shame if someone is single at a certain age . I shouldn't be made to feel embarassed about myself. My life is not perfect and it's not my fault .
I completely agree with what you said Amethyst-Jen :"explain that you are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now. "

I'd rather be single and happy than be miserable with the wrong person .

agata · Post by **agata** » Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:04 pm

Nobody can tell you what's good for you better than you can tell it yourself! If they wanted to settle down in their twenties, it was their choice. Everyone chooses different time for important changes in their lives.
However, I think that you are alone because you are afraid of being in relationship. Sorry if I'm wrong but it's just my impression. This is what started to bother me when I read your post. You wrote " it's best for my mental health to give up on love". I think that those remarks about you not establishing a family hurt you that much because maybe unconsciously you think that you would really like to be like them but you are not able to do so because relationships didn't work out several times in your life. Why do you say that you don't have an attractive personality? Everyone is unique! You just didn't find anyone who would appreciate you as you are! Even if you think that there is nothing special in you, it doesn't mean that there is no other person in the world who would be able to love you. Don't punish yourself and open your heart a little bit more. I don't say that you should force yourself to search somebody. I just think that maybe you’re in a state in which even if somebody was knocking on your heart's door, you would pretend that it's not true.
Just think about it and don't feel bad about other people's opinions!
Hugs.

Amethyst-Jen · Post by **Amethyst-Jen** » Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:13 pm

jlo wrote: I'd rather be single and happy than be miserable with the wrong person .

EXACTLY.  All that does is lead to heartache and pain.  Why go through all of that when you don't have to?   Don't let people tell you what to do.  You are an adult and you know what is right for you.

Stay strong and remember that you are the only person YOU have to please.  :)

soul_flower · Post by **soul_flower** » Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:48 pm

It is the same for me at alot of times with my family,but different.. I am single,23yrs old and have a nearly 4yr old son.. Everyone else is in a relationship or married,have kids and are nice little happy families.. They talk about me like I'm the black sheep.. So you see,we all go through things like you are and just know you're not alone.. Families,that's why there is that saying; you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.. Something like that.. If you are happy that is ALL that matters..

*huggles and love to you*

Bright Blessings.. xox..

AmberDreamer · Post by **AmberDreamer** » Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:17 pm

Still sending you hugs from here on out :(
It's a horrible thing to feel that way and I wish you a happy and successful love life in the future, as well as a harmonious family life.

greenmerlin · Post by **greenmerlin** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:49 pm

You've got a hug from me, jlo. Hang in there.

violetskies · Post by **violetskies** » Fri Sep 11, 2009 5:29 am

Here's a hug!  I understand where you are coming from.  What will make you the most happy is to be who you are, and if that is you being single than that is what you should do!  I have come across the same feelings from people around me as well.  This is what I say... hopefully it will make you feel better about the situation!....  The one certainty that we all face in life is death.... So many people seem to be rushing toward the end, and so many people in today's society believe that there is a certain linear way to get from point A(birth) to point B(death).....  but my belief is that there is no linear model that should be considered one size fits all.  Some may do the traditional model of going to school, getting married, having children.... etc.  Others may go a completely different direction and in a different order, or may choose something completely different for their life.  The point is life is for living.  Do what makes you happy, and try to shrug off this "one size fits all" life model!  I promise you will be much more at ease once you realize those life stages are not requirements!

Many blessings to you!  Have the confidence to trust in your decisions!

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Feeling sad and angry ...

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