I need hug

mayarose · Post by **mayarose** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 10:31 am

I am so sad. By boyfriend is on cocaine (again).
He is ruining himself, me and our relationship. (again)

It is so strange he is completely unaware of the negative impact it has on him as a person and on me (as an empath), and our life together.
He only seems to see the relaxing side of it, he really doesn't see the wrong of it, and blames me for being so sensitive about the object.
But he really isn't a nice person to be with when he uses the white stuff.

I am so disappointed (again), so sad and so angry.
I am so over it!
But I love him so much :smt010

I don't know what to do....

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:53 am

Hugs from me and lots of love.
Only he can stop his adiction and theres only with or without him, You will end up having to make your own choices as well and the outcome is bleek sorry. the violence that dwells within him will get worse as he becomes more dependant.
Please be careful.

Cheers Pete

mayarose · Post by **mayarose** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 3:16 pm

Thanks a lot for hug. I needed the strength.
The stupid thing is that I already know that your words are absolutely true.
The reality is that he is a user. ( for about 18 years on and off, and about 80% of our 5 years together)
Another reality is, its not mine to decide what is best for him. (I can't ask him to stop, it doesn't help shit)

I only can decide what is best for me...
And instinctively I already know the answer. Clear as Ice.

Still I can't seem to follow my instinct with actions.
At first I was to blind to see the impact of his using, ( I also in pink bubble)
now I am just too pathetic and courage-less to just pack my bags or really set my boundaries.
And I hate it, because I don't like to consider myself as a weak person.
But some way it doesn't feel completely fair to leave him, its not that he is a bad man for me.

I know that one day the puzzle falls on its place.
Till that day comes, I just needed a hug today.

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 6:31 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

mayarose · Post by **mayarose** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:39 am

 :smt003  :smt003

Psychic Chef · Post by **Psychic Chef** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:05 am

Well then two more hugs for luck and a HUGE HUG because your  very special.
Cheers Pete

mayarose · Post by **mayarose** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:11 am

Aaaahww....

 :smt003  :)  :smt004  :smt020

glenellen · Post by **glenellen** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 3:24 pm

here's a big hug for you, it is only going to get worse i have seen a lot of drug abuse in my family and it has destroyed them,  unfortunatly the addiction is stronger then the love, i feel so sorry for the position your in but its only going to get harder and i hope you find the strength to make the right decision

kybunker · Post by **kybunker** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:34 pm

Hugs To you Maya.
I've dealt with my husbands addiction for many years, he's 36 now and over it,
All I can say is that we as humans cannot compete against it.
It takes away the soul, passion and compassion of those using it,
They don't even see it coming,
Sometimes They have to lose everything and hit bottom before they quit.
Then they have to change their whole lifestyle, friends ect to stay away from it.
My husband lost his 4 kids, but most of all he lost himself,
He decided one day he didn't like the idea of knowing that a chemical had control over his willpower.
He hasn't touched it for years now,
but i'm always waiting for the day, Getting the savings account in order, Making sure the kids and I are covered. ect.
It not only effects your present life, It effects your future also. Sucks!

harvina · Post by **harvina** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:03 pm

Hi Maya,

Here's a big bear hug for you... it must be really tough for you. Take care & be strong... [/i]

Vanilla82 · Post by **Vanilla82** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:08 am

yep hug to you...
You know, I know this is going to sound mean maybe but in my opinion i think you need to leave him or distance yourself from him. I am telling you this kind of stuff can change ruin your life just as much as his. it's probably like you're on the stuff even though you're not... cos you have experience all the highs and lows with him. Doing what he is doing is a selfish act that he can't even help. he is taking life and you for granted and that energy can shatter yours and you deserve way more than that...
I know leaving someone you love is hard or even distancing him but you need to do something to make sure that you are protected. i mean.... slowly you'll be just as consumed on the drugs as he is.... cos you'll just be hoping to get your next hit of cleaness just like he is waiting for his next hit of cocaine....

good luck and i am sure you'll have the best for you... and that you'll be strong enough t do everything you have to.....

lucky69 · Post by **lucky69** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:33 am

i've been where you are... Best thing you can do is support him and offer him an alternative, if you mean something to him chances are he will change his addiction. but don't leave the relationship until you have offered your helping hand...

sietefhc · Post by **sietefhc** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:42 pm

I will pray so that he comes to his senses and notice that he is not only hurting himself but
the peolpe around him...

Rosiee · Post by **Rosiee** » Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:35 pm

When I was your age I was in a relationship of 3 years with a person that was addicted to coke.  
It was a complete rollercoster ride.  Emotionally and phyically I was wiped out.  He didn't want to lose me, so he went to counseling and the counselor told me that he was doing it for me and not for himself and that he would suggest that I leave him.  I loved him to much to just leave him.  I tried everything to help him.  Key word again was I tried, while he would be getting high with his buddies.  

Like you, I seen crystal clear how this relationship was going to end.  Unlike you, my empath heightened.  I would know where he was in neighborhoods I didn't even know, even the exact house and cars he was in.  It was crazy.  I would go looking for him and it's as if I wasn't even driving.  A lot if other strang happenings, but to many to list.  Today, I'm not as sensitive as I use to be.

Anyway, we were once on vacation and everything was finally perfect.  He was talking about "forever" and without thinking (as if someone else spoke), I said, as soon as we get home we're going to break up and be friends.  I felt such release.  

Relationships should be about love and all that good stuff - I didn't think this was a relationship of love, but like a purpose.  At least that's the only way I could explain it.

Big hug - Rose

Boguslaw · Post by **Boguslaw** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:55 pm

Sweetie, why not take him away, far from the place where he lives to die!
Big hug!

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