I need a hug and all the help I can get

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:33 pm

I am gay...as most of you know, and so my family is totally against it because they have no ability to look at things differently. So...if they find out (which they are getting closer and closer to doing) then they will kick me out of the house. Please help me!!! If you could give me some positive energy or a psyhich reading then that would be awesome! Much needed as well. Thank you! Have a good day.

lunarcraft · Post by **lunarcraft** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:49 pm

Hi BritishFish - so sorry to hear about your predicament ... I believe that each and everyone of us should have the freedom to be who we are and who we want to be.  It is so difficult to live up to other people's expectations, particularly when they are totally opposed to your own beliefs.

However, I temper this by acknowledging your tender years - no matter how mature you are - you, at the moment, have to rely on the family for somewhere to live.  I know a 17 year old in England who is a pagan but, as far as her family are concerned, she is a practising Christian - she will be leaving home in a year's time to go to University and then she will have the opportunity to be totally herself.

I am sending you one of my HUGE hugs, along with some Reiki (following your teaching) - hope it helps a little.

Brightest Blessings

Sarah

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:58 pm

Thank you sooo much...You are so nice

Evie · Post by **Evie** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:05 pm

Hello BritishFish

(((( HUGS ))) to you....

It must be hard to be in your shoes.
I didn't know you were gay and it doesn't matter to me one way or another....

But, I am sorry to admit that there was a time in my past that I wouldn't have
said this. Us old-timers are from a different generation, when gays stayed in the
closet. I have had to re-think my thoughts and it was the youth of today who
showed me that I was wrong. Very wrong. I have no idea how to change the way
your family is thinking though... Good luck to you

I am sad for the Pain of your secret.... I am praying that no one finds out,
until you are strong enough and ready to make this disclosure.

At age 14.... this is a hard situation you are in.
If asked, I don't think you need to respond with a yes or a no.

Another BIG (((( HUG)))) for you

P E A C E
Evie

P>S I m 52 and have secrets from my 80 year old mother as well...
We have a right to privacy

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:15 pm

Thanks Evie

Rhutobello · Post by **Rhutobello** » Tue Jun 12, 2007 10:04 pm

A great Grandpa hug to you.

And I will give you all my wishes for a good life.

Always be proud of yourself, never let your preference lead to shame as long as you behave in such manner that no one can blame you for wrong doing.

The gay part is not an illness, it can not be cured, it can not be blamed on parents or anything like that....it is just that you are born with a different preference then most of us.

People are more and more enlighten on the subject and you will meet more understanding now then you would have done for just a few years back.
But there will always be people who will look down at you, don't let it bother you, they are narrow minded or very religious.

I must admit that my first choice for my kid would not be gay, but if so had happen, I am sure that when the first shock had passed I would have given them all my support.

I agree with Evie, it is not mandatory for you to go around and announce that you are gay.  You might say to those who need to know, else don't bother.

Big big bear hug to you Britisfish!

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:03 am

thank you rhuto!

flight _of_angelwings · Post by **flight _of_angelwings** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:45 am

Hi Britishfish,

Coming out to the parents is one of the hardest things to do.  I know though most of my gay freinds found that they had built up such a fear of it and where so worried abotu the reaction that when they finally did come out the parents either already knew but waited for confirmation or got upset not at the child but themselves for not being there for them earlier.

You cant change who you are....you cant being gay isnt a choice its a life.  I get the feeling that what you fear wont come from the person your expecting it too but you may be blindsided by anothers reaction.

My Uncle is turning 50 soon and he is Gay oh boy he is an out there screaming queen to quote him!  And he was so scared about coming out to my Grandparents his parents whom are STRICT catholics.  He came out 30 years ago in a time when it just was not appropriate and all behind closed doors.  The steps he has made here in Australia for Gay rights is huge.  He has changed some laws that others thought would never change and he is now doing a counselling course to help others who are coming out to their families.  He's been doing it for years but he wants the paperwork to go on his walls.

Take a deep breath, you can not change you and you know this.  Also keep in mind your unable to change them,  their reactions but you can change they way you react to theirs.  

I feel your family will be incredibly supportive, maybe do it one at a time instead of all together.  Get your mum or Dad the one you feel will be best and easiest to tell and start with them.

Hugs and Goodluck

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:54 am

Ok...thank you alot!

trueheartmike · Post by **trueheartmike** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:31 am

Hey Britishfish,
I am 39 years old and I am also Gay, I will send you energies and if you want to keep in touch check out my profile here it has how you can get in touch with me. I wish you well.

trueheartmike · Post by **trueheartmike** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:34 am

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Britishfish>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
There ya go

i forgot to give you that in my other post

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 4:00 pm

thanks
My MSN is: britishfish@nerdshack.com if you ever want to talk! Have a lovely day!

suzisco · Post by **suzisco** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:12 pm

Hi britishfish, i just wanted you to know that i am there for you and send you lots of hugs.  I remember when my sister decided to tell us her family she was gay.  She drove all the way down to my house to tell me first, i was so touched that she decided to share a secret part of her life with me.  Today she is very happy and is going to have a civil ceremony next year to celebrate and commit to her current partner.  She is also planning a family and has a donor to help them have their first child.

So it can turn out ok, just remember that people will tell you just now that you can't possibly know your gay as your too young etc, just ignore them and remember to follow your heart and your dreams but do remember to be realistic.

britishfish · Post by **britishfish** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:36 pm

thanks! Missing you on IM lately. Please come on so that we can chat like we used too!

suzisco · Post by **suzisco** » Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:46 pm

I will do soon, Its 11.45 pm here just now so its bed time for me now. I will come and chat over the weekend so speak then.

Take care XXX

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I need a hug and all the help I can get

I need a hug and all the help I can get

Big Hugs to Britishfish

Big Hug :) Britishfish

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