I could really use some big hugs

[tattoo.tinkerbell]

Hello Im a 27 yr old Single man.  I have been helping out at my local Catholic Church by passing around the collection plate during mass. Something has been happening to me for the past 6 months. Each Sunday the priest and the Alter Boys have been touching and gropping me inappropriatly.  I yelled for them to stop and let me go, but they just keep doing it. I am so upset that I do not know what I should do. Could you please give me a hug and maybe give me some advice. I'm not gay, so I really do not like it. But it keeps happening to me why I ask....

[Rhutobello]

A big Grandpa hug comes to you...and with it comes some of my thoughts about the situation you are in.

Have you the last 6 month felt more down then before?
Many people feel "near" coworker, friends or family  "pains" or stress. You don't need to tell anybody about it...because it will somehow surround you.

Many people that feel with you will then not talk about it until you yourself open for it, instead they try to give you an comforting gesture with touching you.

If the one who is touched have in his/her mind the "thought about Gay behaviour", this comforting sign can be taken in a wrong way.

I find it very strange if both Priest and Alter boys try to do any sexual approach to you...so my best bet is that they know you have a struggle one way or another.

Try to receive with open mind and you will soon see if this is more then good compassion toward another coworker.

Another big hug and good luck

[tattoo.tinkerbell]

thank you Ruthobello for your kind hugs and advice. I will try to look at it they way you suggested, but I just find it strange that they fondle me in the ways that they do. But I will try to take your advice.. Thank you.

[Creativelady]

I am female, but that is no regard to sex type when this type of actions are happening.
First and right off, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG AND ILLEGAL!!!

Your spirit is upset because your inside self knows this is wrong.  This has nothing to do with whatever your sexual way may be with regards to "gay" etc.  This has to do with the Priest and his followers (the Alter Boys) having control over you.  If they can get you to accept this behaviour, then other things that you do not want will happen next, it is a given.

You need to have the self confidince to find out whom within the Catholic system is the appropriate upline or above the Priest person to go and tell this is happening to.  You also need to contact your local police and if not them then some sort of local men's group, or men's hostel, or some sort of men's counselling type entity so that you can get someone to talk to and someone whom will back you up as you go through this.

Make sure you take notes with the details.  Date, time, exactly what happens and exactly whom does what.  Belive in yourself and the system.  People used to get away with this and the only way they still do in today's society, is when the abused does not tell.

I am telling you these things because I was sexually abused as a young girl and when I went to my church pastor (s) they would cancel meetings with me and do nothing to help me.  My sexual abuse ended up going on from 8 until 17.5 because of this.  I eventually had a kind of nervous breakdown because of it.  The shocking thing is that my parent chose to stay with this person and refused to leave them.  The powers above chose to finally remove this man from Earth via a car accident.  So, I know about this stuff and I have helped others via the years and I've written a book on it.  Please do something as soon as possible.

[Rhutobello]

It is very serious and bad thing to be sexual abused....and it can never be condemn enough.

On the other hand it's equal serious to blame anyone for sexual behaviour if such has not occur or intended.

I am aware that such thing happen in all levels of society.

When I gave my statement, then it was from the point that both priest and Alter boys did this toward him.
If one should believe that all of these have sexual intend, then this church must be very special and the problem known...even if no action was taken against them.

So to implement such thoughts in first hand, might do more damage then help, and just promote suspiciousness.
After all here is talk about a 27 years old man....not a defenceless boy or girl.

[Evie]

Rhutobello

You are very wise.... and so honest. Bless you for trying to
de-fuse a potentially harmful situation.

At 27 years of age...  being unwillingly fondled is odd-ish.

My mind immediately goes to the private parts and I just
can't picture this.... happening to an adult man.
Especially repetitively.... ? ? ?
...........................................................................................................
To Tattoo.tinkerbell....  

I don't understand why you are still attending this Church... and forgive
me for being so direct and maybe making an assumption... BUT your
chosen name here suggests to me that You are in turmoil about whether
YOU are gay, or not and may be projecting your inner fears  ???


In any event, it is clear you need a ((( HUG )))

MAY YOU FIND PEACE  :smt049

Evie  

[lunarcraft]

I am sending you one of my HUGE hugs - hope it helps a little.  I do feel for the situation that you find yourself in but you do need to protect yourself.

Brightest Blessings

Sarah

[Kate]

...Each Sunday the priest and the Alter Boys have been touching and gropping me inappropriatly.  I yelled for them to stop and let me go, but they just keep doing it...

What is appropriate in one person's mind could easily be inappropriate in another's. It seems, from what little you've told, that the priest and alter boys don't feel that the way in which they are touching you is wrong in any way. However, if it makes you feel badly, that's all that matters. They should respect your request not to touch you if that's what you want. I mean...even if you don't want to shake someone's hand, no one should make you. If someone doesn't want to be patted on the shoulder, back, or arm...no one should do it. Your body is your own to decide what feels appropriate or comfortable to you. You say that they are touching you in some sort of groping way. How odd (one would think) for ALL of them to assult you in that way. I mean, do you feel they're trying to initiate you into some secret orgy society in the church? If so, talk to others in the church. Perhaps they've done this to others and they've been too embarrassed to talk about it. ?

Another thing to think about though, if they aren't 'actually' groping you, say they're only giving you a Christian hug (I don't know what they're doing)...   Is there something in your past that is making you feel overly protective of your person? MAYBE you were molested as a child? Maybe you're transfering burried feelings from some recollection of your youth (or forgotten but subconsciously recalled event).

You don't have to answer me. I'm just posing questions for you to ponder privately, if you wish. It may be healing for you to think on EXACTLY what it is that they're doing that is making you uncomfortable. Are they actually touching you on your private regions, or is the way they touch you non-sexual but brings up some bad memory (tangible or intangible)? PERHAPS there is some transference going on. It could even be as "simple" as severe teasing/bullying you were subjected to as a youth. Was your voice more gentle or your frame more slender than other boys when you were growing up, causing your peers to tease you in a way that makes you feel people think you are gay. (You mentioned that you are not...as if that's a point you are used to having to make. Most non-defensive people don't feel the need to say what they are not - as a general rule.)

No matter what the case, though, tell them one last time, in a down-to-business, matter-of-fact way that you do not want to be touched. Not in any way, not at any time. Take a friend/witness/tape recorder with you when you tell them. That way, if they ever touch you again...in ANY way...you have proof that you are (at the very least) being disrespected at the church. At that time you will have to decide if you are going to press charges, report it to the higher-ups, or find a new church.

In the meantime, cyber-hugs and healing prayers are sent your way. God bless you and keep you safe.

[Evie]

Kate

Very impressive response!

Evie

[Kate]

Thank you, Evie.

I studied the ministy in my church; that, along with using other tools I've learned to use (psychic readings, clairvoyance, dream interpretation, etc.), and a history of my own abuse makes me feel comfortable talking about/dealing with these kinds of issues.

I feel for this young man! Whether they have been purposefully abusing him, or he's transfering burried issues onto them, the point is...HE TOLD THEM TO STOP TOUCHING HIM AND THEY DIDN'T STOP. That's what's making him feel abused and disrespected. It good that he's taking an active role in protecting his body-mind-spirit. Something IS damaged - that is evidenced in the fact that he felt he had to yell at them. Whether it is new damage caused by them or it is old damage being brought to the surface . . . there is work for this young man to do. The damage needs to be looked at and repaired. The place to start is to get them to keep their hands to themselves (no touching, no Christian hugs, nothing). THEN he has to figure out what step two is: go to counseling, do regression work (with a skilled facilitator), talk to someone at the church...  

Thank you for giving people a place to ask for help--be it hugs, prayers, or advice. That is very kind of you.

[symulhaque]

You are a noble person. Hugs to you.