I think my ex was a past life soul mate. I miss him

[Rikis152]

Our connection and bond was so real i cant even explain. He was my ex best friend and we went to a dance together. He looks in my eyes and i got this feeling like never before. 3 weeks later we get together. Everyone at school knew it was real just from how he looked at me. He was my best friend the only person who understood me and was always there. i lived with him and his family that treated me like a real family should unlike my own.
Than i got hard into drugs and he got in law trouble. I started before this having a thing for our friend at the place we always chilled. It was heavily bothering me since i never thought of another and my boyfriend was the perfect person always made me laugh cared but was the bad boy gangster style i was into. But he started to seem not to care about how things made me feel, and on new years we broke up i went to our friends whose girlfriend and him just broke up. I met up with my bf that same night again lonely on new years hurting without him.. The next two months were heartbreaking. He changed and did everything to get me back. But i was falling for our friend (lets call him b and my boyfriend/ex j)  B and doing anything to see him. J would even take me to his house and knew something was up. My mom found out about my drug use and did whatever to keep me from B. J stood by my side and even after knowing i kissed him he still fought for me wrote me poems, anything he could. B got mad and J and B didnt talk to me for a week after this blow up.. I convinced j to take me back and we had one last blissfull afternoon together, till the next night he went to a rave alone and since i was drinking and emotional he stopped talking to me. And B randomly texted me after ignoring every one of my texts that week. I blew off J the next two days and saw B J called me drunk and ranting crying emotionally. The next day he just told me to forget about it.
Now im with B at first it was great now its like he makes me last priority and doesnt treat me how i deserve doesnt make it worth staying around.
I miss J so much but he moved on so quick less than 8 months later hes married with a kid on the way... I dream of him, remincie of him and hate myself for how we ended. Our love was unreal and like nothing anyone had dreamed of, for 2 years and now he hates me and loves her. And I still love B but im fed up.. I dunno what to do  :smt009

[Lovelyme]

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[starieeyed]

Sending you hugs!

[soccerchick15]

That must be difficult for you...I'm sorry..sending hugs your way!!!!

[Spirit_of_Phoenix]

hugs ... and if it was meant to be as a soul-mate what happened once will happen again.. even if not in this life but hope lessons are learned and your heart heals

[Duchess1964]

Here is a hug and my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

[symulhaque]

Wish you be happy in life. Hope for a better future.