PLEASE HELP ME ON MY LOVE STORY

jimmy619 · Post by **jimmy619** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:30 am

I AM A 22 YEAR OLD GUY BORN ON 9/10/1987... I AM IN LOVE WITH A 20 YEAR OLD GIRL BORN ON 02/02/1990... I=SHE IS MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER THREE YEARS AGO... AFTER LOTS OF NO SHE HAS FINALLY AGREED TO MARRY ME... THE PROBLEM IS ALTHOUGH SHE HAS AGREED SHE DOESN'T EXPRESS HER LOVE TO ME... SHE CARES FOR ME NO DOUBT AND SHE LIKES ME TOO BUT SHE HASN'T SAID I LOVE YOU TO ME IN THESE 3 YEARS... SHE COMES TO MEET ME ALMOST DAILY AT MY SHOP EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TOLD HER NOT TO TAKE THE TROUBLE SO I KNOW SHE HAS IT IN HER... NOW SOME CAN HELP ME HOW DO I GET HER TO EXPRESS HER FEELINGS...

Rook · Post by **Rook** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 7:12 am

Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy

She is obviously devoted to you, coming to your shop almost daily.  I think you need to approach this from not just your point of view, but hers.

I mean to some people (such as me) expressing feelings of love comes easy.  Saying I love you is easy, and comes frequently accompanied with flowers, chocolates, or whatever her heart desires.  But I also recognise that for others this is something expressed only in rarer occasions.  For me, my expressions can become meaningless if I don't control it, as it becomes a shower of love and praise.  It becomes normal and loses its power.  Whereas considering how she restricts when she does express these feelings, it adds that much more meaning and power when she does express it.

If she did express this to you once, would this satisfy you, or would you need to hear it again?  If she expressed it because you annoyed her about it that much she eventually capitulated, would that mean anything to you, or would it mean more to you if you left her to decide to express these feelings, and she came to you and expressed this genuinely and sincerely.

My point is, I think rather than 'getting her to express her feelings' you need to understand how significant such an expression is to her, and respect her for who she is.  If you do this when she does express her feelings for you it will be that much more meaningful and powerful to both of you.  But I also feel you could express how much it would mean to you to hear this from her, perhaps just tell her this once, and leave it at that.

That is my advice anyhow, make of it what you will.

Best of luck with it all, and congratulations on the up and coming wedding.

Kind regards,
Rook

ConfusedMind · Post by **ConfusedMind** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:55 am

he he. i've heard love causes love. hatred inspires more of that. violence can sow the seeds of stronger violence. What do you think Jimmyh? isn't love something like that? express your love or exultations in all the ways possible. if honesty does not do, go train yourself about how to show your love. you will really know the tricks. and, they are sure to work. if not for her, it will definitely work when your girlfriend's best friend may pity you just to see you making so much of efforts. so, carry on. a show does work all the time. don't you see what you YOURSELF are expecting?

jimmy619 · Post by **jimmy619** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:57 pm

showing her how much i love her is done long ago dude... i was a pre final year Electronics B.E student and one of the topers in the class. but i knew long distant relation wont work out... so i quit my studies and came to her city.... now i am in a totally different field of graphics designing... although quiting B.E didn't stop me from making up a financial status but i left my dream of becoming a engineer for her and she knows that very well... i keep telling her how much i love her and listen to almost every thing of hers... what else to do say....

taraprincess · Post by **taraprincess** » Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:51 pm

sweetie here is a huge hug....much love and huggies

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:16 pm

"although quiting B.E didn't stop me from making up a financial status but i left my dream of becoming a engineer for her and she knows that very well... i keep telling her how much i love her and listen to almost every thing of hers... what else to do say...."

As with any 'problem', question, path in life..it needs to be about YOURSELF..not another person...the rest follows in natural order.  The right career, the right life partner, the right circumstances in life.  No one, like another to make a decision based on them..it then makes a feeling of 'obligation'.    This girl may or may not love you, I do not know...but I do know she feels obligated.

Now any solutions to your problems have to be about you and you only.  All answers must contain the word I.  Is it in my highest and greatest good to stay in this relationship?  The answer can only contain the words I..not anything about her.  Not even yes, because I love her...yes, because I know she loves me...those answers are about HER.  What is the answer about YOU?  Are YOU choosing best for YOU.  I am in this relationship because it fulls ME.  I am in this relationship because it makes ME happy.  (Yes?  No??)  Keep following the trail after you answer the questions..keep asking questions about YOU, answering only about YOU.   Until you come to your answer.  

There are always deeper issues behind the surface 'problem'.  The answers and growth opportunities however, can only be about ourelves.  The opportunity to grow, learn, mature in ourselves, our love, our ability to open ourselves to amazing possibilities in the world, and not being held a prisoner by a circumstance we continue to perpetuate.

Good luck with your answers...about YOU.

dhav · Post by **dhav** » Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:00 pm

Maybe you have shown her how much you love her and she knows you will be always there for her.the fact you left your studies for her proves it.One can love someone but never express it.The less you express it the more emotional and meaningful the love gets. I also feel you should not remind her the reason you left your studies because of her. It was your sole decision and responsibility.Just trust her and let her free. She will be happier and maybe will feel more freely with you to express her heart.

Unfallen · Post by **Unfallen** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:42 pm

You need to tell her.  This will burn you to the bone if you don't tell her and then it will be too late for either of you to fix it.  It sounds like you've fought for her for a long time.  I can't tell you how she'll react to this advice, but I can tell you how I reacted it.  My girlfriend accused me of being distant and not loving her when I do.  She waited too long to tell me she felt that way and it was too late.  She wouldn't even give me the chance to fight for her or show her how much I loved her.  You need to also start seeing her in private situations, not just at your place of business.  Best of luck to you.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:46 pm

" the chance to fight for her "

Love 101 -- One should never 'fight' for love.

Unfallen · Post by **Unfallen** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:48 pm

Incorrect.  When a relationship seems perfect that's when you need to be scared.  Every romance has its problems at one point or another.

kgirlsmomma · Post by **kgirlsmomma** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:41 pm

And those problems can be worked out, without the 'fight'..empower your loved to be at their best, and you at yours....And act accordingly.

One never 'fights' for love.

grandduke · Post by **grandduke** » Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:16 am

I think she is of an expressive personality, where in she expresses her love to you by act not by words..which for me is good
or better than talk..
all talk and no action is bad.

I think you better ponder what rook had advice to you..

Regards and hug,

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PLEASE HELP ME ON MY LOVE STORY

PLEASE HELP ME ON MY LOVE STORY

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