martial relationship- please give advice

[magge]

I got married this year  on 19th February 2009.
My birth details are :Date of birth: 05 February 1976
place of birth: Bhadravathi, Karanataka
Time of birth: 9:30 pm

My wife's details:
Date of birth: 19th Sept 1984
place of birth: Hindupur, Andhra Pradesh
Time of birth: 7:35 am

My relations with my wife has become bad these days and she has  even become pregnant. I am in a fixed state whether to continue the relationship with her or not.  We have stopped talking to each other. I am even ready to divorce . anyone here please advice on this

Kiru

[avam46]

Hello there,
I find on the face of it that you both are married hardly for 7 months. She is 8 years younger, preganant.
I hope I am not hastily branded as a traditional conformist out of date with the
Modern World. But kindly permit me if you don’t mind, to tell you briefly in simple words about Marriage as per Hindu Dharma now that I have studied your two Horoscopes. Most of you are aware but in this fast changing World the significance of Vivaha is unfortunately forgotten and marriage is just treated as another ritual.This background is necessary to understand the solution to your problem.
As per Hindu Dharma Marriage is a a sacred relationship of two souls brought together
and not just two physical bodies. If you recollect the marriage function, the Bride is first
given to God[Kanyadan] and then given  to the Bridegroom as a gift of God..The marriage is not limited to this life alone but to 7 or more lives during which period
the couple need to help each other progress and evolve spiritually to achieve the ultimate Salvation. It is very essential that having taken their marriage vows[Pratigya Karan],going round the Fire God [Agni Parikrama], taking the seven steps[sapta padi],
in the auspicious presence of Gods who have been invoked,the married couple should try
to keep up their marriage vows. Breaking of the vows with any selfish motive, without any strong reason, would add on to their Karmas affecting their future lives as also that
of their Children. This is as per Hindu Dharmic principles which we unfortunately tend
to forget in our petty misunderstandings which later snowballs into a big misunderstanding between the two married couples.. The big question is-Can we try
using our free will to sort out if possible the problems with a genuine effort, and having faith in the  great Lord? I strongly believe it is possible to do so and increase our Punyas.
Now don’t you think you both should sincerely try to resolve the differences[yes, they do exist]?
I do wish you put forth your best and sincere efforts to sort out, though Karmic planets Rahu and Saturn may be inclined in teaching the Karmic lesson.
If you are in agreement, we could discuss further.
Sorry again if I sound too conservative…
All the best
AVAM

[prasanna]

HI magge,

             I dont know  the real reason ,  which made u to think of divorcing your newly married wife who is going to be mother soon.  But When I read this post I felt very sad. At the same time seeing You asking the advise of elders here,  I felt little relaxed. Now reading the advises of Avam ji, I sincerely feel U might have changed your idea of Divorce. I trust U wont consider him  as conservative .  We Indians should never forget our culture,  traditions and the values of marriage. Already Avam ji has explained about he sanctity of marriage beautifully.  So I dont want to repeat it again.

     Knowing your idea of Divorce I really felt pity  over the younger generation of today  and felt sad especially  for the kid (who has not yet seen the world) Due to your hasty decisions  the ultimate sufferer would the unborn kid. Try to think of the kid and better change your idea of divorce please.  I would like to hear a positive reply from U soon.


Best wishes,

[Krishnakumar M R]

My dear brother Kiru,

Prior to asking any further questions, I would like to inform you that I am not an astrologer... or a person who knows something about astrogy... I am just a beginner in learning astrology... I completely agree with Avamji uncle words (It does not mean that I am threatening you to accept his views)..... I respect him (I am not forcing you to respect him or his views)...  But I feel, having posted a thread (in this forum), it is not a sin or not a big crime to accept the words of elders (since they are much more experianced in the world / life than ourself)...  All the members in this forum are well learned Astrologer (excepy me) and know about the life as well...  Having said that,

I have few practical questions to you...

1) Please let us know what made you about the last thing (like to use brahmasthara i.e. divorce)...
2) Did you really loved her in all respect when you met her on the first time (before engagement or after but before your marriage) and discussed about your desire, nature, attitude, belief etc...

I am sure that you could have hidden everything within yourself even though you got a chance to move with that girl before marriage and discuss about your likes and dislikes (this is not based on astrology but this is from your message posted above(my guess and assumption))...

I would like to remind you one more proverb also....Girl/womens sad/curse will never let anybody else in the life to lead a happy life...

Whatever may be the reason, posting about your own wife and informing about your 50% of your body to the whole world (in the open forum) is not fair... As we all know wife is our 50% of our body (Arthanareeshwara)... I personally feel exposing 50% of our body in front of the whole world is not advicable... You could have posted softly in a matured way (Please do not think you have posted in a immatured way... With your level of education background and knowledge, I trust you know what I really meant "matured way" ) and made other person to invite you to send PM to resolve your personal questions....(But you have failed to do so....)

You have accepted for marriage... I trust nobody else in your family would have threatened you or forced you to marry that girl... You got love with that girl before marriage (May be after understanding each other well or not) ...  and you lived with her for quiet some months... You are going to be the father in few months...  

I am asking you one more practical question... Be open, (forget about your life...) Kindly let me know, if any one of your friend is having the same kind or nature of issues  or intention, what will be your answer to your friend...  (Please dont try to be over smart... but be practical... and be true atleast to your heart)....

I request you to think you......

Think... Think... Think...

There is a proverb in Tamil (Mogham 30 days & Aasai 60 days) and everybody in the world knows that (irrespective of the language barrier)....

My dear brother, please tolerate yourself, be calm.... One example of fact is that, its quiet natural all the womens will not be quiet well or concentrate their husband or anybody else in the world, at the initial time of qualifying to be a mother... It is because of all the nature and their body conditions and situation as well...I admit that I do not know the astrology well... but I do understand the human nature, desire and attitude well....

Finally, I request you to love your wife (especially at this time and which is really required at this time)... dont find fault... Please adjust with the life for couple of months... Once you see the kid face you will forget everything in your life...

I pray to God to give you peace, calm and good thinking....

Krishna

My dear Avamji uncle & sister,

First of all I am really sorry for not obeying your words... But the situation tempted me to post my reply.... Hope you will not mistake me...

[magge]

Dear all,

Thank you so much for your kind replies and valuable suggestions. I really appreciate it. I am fully aware of the Hindu Dharma Marriage and its consequences if I break this blessed relation it will lead to karma passed to my progeny. But situations and circumstances have forced to take this drastic step. I have sincerely tried three times to revive our relationship by pledging with her but in vain nothing workout. I consulted a few astrologers to find out remedial measures to solve this issue. I even did a few  remedial measures to solve this. I know it’s difficult to get an instant result. But  still I  have complete faith in god and I believe my prayers will not go fail. I have kept my fingers crossed thinking some good thing will happen in future.  I know its just 7 months of our marriage but these 7 months has made me to look already 7 years passed away. I completely agree it takes some time for anyone to adjust in a new environment and so on.  There are a few personal reasons which have forced me to tell this thing. I too feel sad especially for the kid who has not yet seen this world. I fully concur the proverb ...Girl/women’s sad/curse will never let anybody else in the life to lead a happy life.. I should not revel the truth about 50 % of the body is my wife.   But after reading your replies aim forced to tell how much my wife and her family ( younger sister, her mom and dad) have criticize me,  my parents and my sister. Although my sister don't stay with us  and she has never interfered in my life. My parents are like god they don't interfere in my life and they were staying at the first floor and we were staying in the ground floor. There was not much connection between my wife and my parents. I know its one sided argument  but these are the actual facts. Without any reasons they use to fight with me. I really really don’t know what they wanted and expect from me. I gave everything the best to please her.  They are not coming out and telling their wishes openly.  I was even ready to make a separate house.   I am not a person who wishes to completely surrender myself. I too have some inner feelings and aspirations. I cannot dance to their tunes always. I have suffered from mental agony for 7 months. Now I cannot control myself. How much they have told about me and my parents. I cannot digest their curse in my whole life. I am ready to take my wife and their family curse and stay without them.  Why my parents should suffer and most important I should suffer without doing any sins. I believe in give respect and take respect policy. We are also from a respected Brahmin family and it was arranged marriage.     Please don’t think I am a rude person. Iam speaking  my inner feelings.  Now please tell your opinion regarding my earlier stand.


Thank you

Regards.

kiru

[Shrikanth]

Dear Magge,

I've just joined this forum and started reading with this thread.

I'll keep it strictly to Jyotisha.

I'm not sure if you are still looking for a remedy but here's my two cents on this.
Assuming the time as 09:30:00pm - I get Virgo Ascendant in Rasi and Pisces in Navamsa.

You married on Feb 19,2009 - during Venus/Merc/Venus. This is quite easily understandable since
Venus is the 2nd and 9th lord and Karaka for the marital relations, placed in the 4th.
Mercury is the Upapada lagna lord.

In Navamsa - Venus is also placed in the 7th and Mercury is the lord of the 7th.
So these both are quite capable of giving this event.

So why is this relation breaking during the same period?

In the Navamsa - Venus is the 3rd and 8th lord debilitated in the 7th - capable of damaging the 7th as well by his functional
nature.

In Rasi - Sat is placed in the 2nd from UL and Venus and Mercury (as the UL lord) is in the 7th from the UL.
Planets in the 7th indicate the people (in-laws) that are opposed to your marriage.
Venus indicates people like sisters or sister-in-laws, Mercury can indicate cousins, uncles - here as the UL lord
the spouse itself can be against the wedding.
Sun in the 8th is also not very auspicious for this UL.

You were strong on ending this relation - but I two cents to give it a second life.

Fast on Wednesdays and pray to lord Venkateshwara by listening to Vishnu Sahasranamam.
Do the fasting for 10 Wednesdays.
Let this Venus/Merc period pass by - ends on May 10, 2011

With Best Wishes
Shrikanth

[khraum108]

Dear Magge

I have had a look at your chart. There are no obvious problems in your chart except for the fact that Shukra is neecha in the 7th house in navamsa. That is not the ideal and the aspect of Ra on it. Since you are from a Brahmin family, you should understand a basic thing.  NO ONE SUFFERS because of someone. We all suffer the outcome of our own karma. You should read Srimad bhagvat and the Gita. You have a tough time in relationships for the next couple of years and if your wife is pregnant, you cant walk out just like that. You are running away. If there is a problem between your Parents and your wife, it can easily be the mood swings that come along with pregnancy. Also you should try to recite the Durga Kalpavriksha mantra, that will help immensly. You have a gaja Kesari yoga in the 7th house. End result will be good. Just tide over the karma and leave the rest to the lord. Remember that after you are a father you have to upgrade yourself to Surya. He gives us light without emotion. If you can keep theemotion out of teh situations you will find that the things are too petty for you to bother.

Remember what Gandhi Ji taught us. An Oppressor will not continue to do injustice if we dont react and do out duty. With reaction the escalation happens and the gap between action and reaction is called emotional intelligence.

May God Bless you

Hari Om tat Sat

Tarun