Hello EOT (and Mystic-boarders).
I hope you’re well!
I thought that I’d give an update.
And simultaneously give some feedback (as well as advice), to those that may have related to some of my past posts.
Things are still going well in my life!
• I’ve now have financial stability (via self employment).
The clients are decent/kind people.
I certainly don’t take that sort of thing for granted, since colleagues in my past were far from that description.
• EOT :
I wanted to give you some feedback/praise.
When I initially posted, you gave me advice to sit in a café, instead of just getting my usual takeaway.
I did this (with no expectation), and guess what ?
I made a friend for the first time in 4 years.
This doesn’t sound like much to the average person, but for someone thats spend their life completely alone for years - it’s a big deal.
In addition to that, she is a kind and respectful person.
She was in my city visiting from LA.
And we ended up spending 4 days together, where I showed her around London.
It was great having lighthearted fun, nothing heavy, and a super relaxing time.
So, thank you so much for your advice, and I’m sure that you’re glad to hear of the positive outcome!
• I’m still pretty introverted, and do tend to cancel going to social situations a great deal of the time - but I’ve learnt to trust that my intuition is guiding me.
• Other feedback/predictions that you were quite right to give me, was advice of clarifying intentions (upfront) when meeting new people.
I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone, by going to meetups organised by people suffering from anxiety and isolation.
I didn’t end up exchanging phone numbers, but did manage to enjoy having open honest and mutually supportive conversations with friendly faces (that I now see regularly at that at the same meet-ups).
... HOWEVER, your advice was spot-on.
The females have been great company, however the men have had non-platonic agendas, which I’ve been rather taken aback by.
It certainly wasn’t expected, for a number of reasons.
• I also like to take this opportunity to (justly) apologise for the unreasonably long, rambling, and embarrassingly self absorbed post that I wrote awhile back.
I’d also like to take the opportunity to say to those going through a difficult time, that it is easy to fall into a pit of despair.
BUT ultimately only you can help yourself, with a little help from your MB friends
No one should ever be looked at as an emotional saviour.
It isn’t fair on you, and it isn’t fair on them.
Out of crisis can come opportunity, I’m living proof of that - as I believe that EOT and I’s joint setting of the intention of positive energy in my situation, resulted in a complete turnaround - which manifested the life that I have today.
• My daily attitude is one of optimism, taking one day at a time, exercising patience towards myself and others, and daily gratitude meditations.
• If you look closely you can ALWAYS find something to be grateful for.
And speaking of which, I’ve been practising law of attraction, which involves gratitude exercises and visualisation. I’ll keep you posted
• So if I may, I’d love to bend your ear at this stage EOT?
I’m contemplating dating in the (near or distant) future.
However I’m not sure if it’s ‘too much, too soon’ this year - since my ‘mindset turnaround’ is one that is relatively recent.
I made the mistake of trying to find an emotional saviour (vs a partner) in the past - and paid a massive price for it, literally and metaphorically.
He was diagnosed sociopath, and his motives were opportunistic and purely mercenary.
I won’t go down that path again, since I’ve rebuilt my self esteem and faced my insecurities.
So in regards to my current status ...
So if it aint broke, why fix it?
I’m comfortable/happy with current self-love and self acceptance, and feel like I should just leave things be? - and just sit comfortably in this state for some years.
I feel like if you reach paradise, why take off very shortly after, when you don’t really know what lies ahead?
Especially since it’s taken me literally a lifetime to reach this paradise/serenity
♀️...
I knowledge also, that like any human, I have further work to do on my self esteem, addressing my body image issues etc.
And in all honesty, I can’t say that I’m appetised by the future men you previously mentioned (i.e. looking for substitute mothers and alcoholics).
Tbh, I don’t think they will be able to hold my interest for longer than 1 second, as any expectation to pay for someone’s lifestyle will have me at the exit in nano seconds. Even something like non reciprocated drinks tabs (it is the matter of principle, not the money). I have no time for parasitic, emotionally immature people.
The advice brings back bad memories - and I’m certainly not sacrificing my hard earned serenity for that.
I acknowledge that life is a journey/you grow from experiences ... but I’m not sure I’m ready for that uncertainty/potential turbulence - and disturbance of my very calm state of mind.
I’m also VERY introverted, and can’t imagine being comfortable with regular dating, meeting strangers.
So wondering if you have any insight?
Shall I trust my intuition, and just stay happily single for the next 1-4 years, or do you disagree ?
As always, thanks so much in advance ...
All the very best
Miss V