I've been going through a bit of a tough time lately and will be having to make some serious life decisions here in the future, and was wondering if someone could be so kind to provide some clarity or help?
Hello Sophia,
I am genuinely sorry to hear that you are having problems with your relationship with your boyfriend. I would be pleased to be of some help to you in making your serious life decision a little easier than it might have been without my help through a reading. Just as long as it is clear to you that it is your decision alone to make, and that you must use all relevant information in addition to any insights coming out of the following reading when making your mind up about whether you feel that the relationship has any future. The decision is too serious and potentially life changing for it to be based exclusively upon a psychic reading. The reading process is far from being 100% reliable in its advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, and we have a lot of love and passion and a connection with each other, but we've gone through some major difficulties and I'm trying to decide what to do in my life right now. If I should bother staying with him or just have to let go and move on?
Love, passion and connection are not enough by themselves or when combined with each other to keep your relationship workable over the longer term. But most of the major difficulties which you are experiencing are his responsibility, and not yours. Note that this is not a finger pointing exercise designed to 100% blame him or say that he is not doing what he can to mend his ways. Forget about fault finding and apportioning blame, which is almost guaranteed to block any remaining channel of communication between you. Each of you must however accept some share of the responsibility but not the blame for what has happened.
I've been feeling so down and just not like myself lately, it's been hard to go through-- but at the same time it's really hard to picture letting him go completely. He really really wants to work everything out, but I think he might have too much immaturity.
Understandably you find it hard to picture letting go of him completely. And I feel indirectly through your one year so far relationship with him that he genuinely wants to work everything out with you. I disagree with him being too immature. Indeed if he had been lacking in maturity, I feel that he would not be making any attempt at all now to patch things up. Underneath I feel (again indirectly, as directly would require me to give you a third party reading, which is against our rules) that he sincerely wants to get back into your good books, but it is a steep and slippery learning curve for him to do so. And for him to do this within the period of time which you are willing to patiently wait for him to make up to you for what he has done.
The issues I'm troubled with is him cheating on-line at the beginnng of our relationship, as well as lying a lot. There's also an ex in his past that gets to me too, he's been hung up on her forever and would talk about her always and even show me pictures multiple times, and she's like bff's with his mom and family. She's been kind of cruel and has messed with his head a bit I feel, and it's hard to explain but I feel like her 'energy' or something is affecting this relationship too. I've decided to move out for the time being because staying in this environment now is making me really low energy and depressed.
The first sentence (in bold print) is all that I can look at in this reading. The rest of it about his ex and how she is best of friends with his family is outside what can be treated through this reading which is yours alone. Once again this would be for a third party reading.
So the key issue here is that on several occasions he has betrayed your trust in him by lying and cheating (only online?). Somehow he needs to gradually re-earn your trust in him, but this will take time and are you willing to give him enough time to regain your trust? At what stage during the first year did his lying and cheating stop and when did he start showing that he wanted to make it up to you, with both his words and online behaviour being in line or consistent with each other?
For it is only by his behaviour and his words of regret for his past actions agreeing with each other that your trust can be slowly re-earned. In other words each time that he does not do what he has promised not to do by cheating and lying, some of the trust which was lost can be found again. But each time that he reverts to his former misbehaviour, the pendulum swings back again in the wrong direction, and if this were to happen too many times for you to be able to be comfortable with it, the relationship is really over.
The reading advises you not to move back in with him for the immediate future (you did the best thing by moving out), and to try your best to reopen the channels of communication between you. Do not play the blame game with each other as that would be like putting a pair of cement shoes on your relationship, then throwing it into very deep waters.
A good way to drown it?
Accept your share of the responsibility for solving the problem. Do not be part of it. Be emotionally honest with each other about where you see the relationship going if neither of you are able or willing to make the necessary improvements.
But if he is proved not to be willing to keep his end of the bargain by not doing anything trust destroying like that to you ever again, the reading sees little chance of the relationship surviving the period of the next six months.
Once the pendulum of trust has swung too far bck into the negative, it would take much longer than you are willing to or should have to wait for it to become re-centred, without it having to swing back into the positive again.
Then it really would be a waste of your time to continue this pointless exercise in constantly increasing misery and frustration for yourself, and you should not bother staying with him any longer.
Understood?
L&L,
EoT
