Extreme Anxiety unable to eat properly

[niki17]

I want to know if my boyfriend is cheating on me. I am feeling extremely insecure and anxious. It's affecting me physically. I have been cheated on in my past relationship. I am confused if I am experiencing this anxiety because of my past or is something really going on.  Thank you

[eye_of_tiger]

Hi Niki,

Any direct reading of your boyfriend in order to find out if he is cheating on you would be seen as a third party reading (a reading directly about any other person than the one who requested the reading), which our forum rules do not allow us to give you.

12. Please do not request readings for other people (including family members) or third party readings as this is strictly against Mystic Board’s policies.

This does not mean that I cannot help you, but it does mean that any insights coming out of any reading of him indirectly through his relationship with you is likely to be far less reliable and potentially give more false positives (the reading says that he is cheating when he is not cheating) and false negatives (the reading says that he is not cheating when he is cheating), when compared to if the third party route had been available to me.

The general advice being offered here is to tread very carefully when accusing your boyfriend of sleeping around, unless you have accumulated enough solid physical evidence of his infidelity. Do not base your assumptions of his guilt upon shaky circumstantial evidence or idle gossip, as if you do openly accuse him of doing the wrong thing and it turns out that he is completely innocent, you not only might lose him but he may also legally sue you for defamation of character which could get expensive.

Whether or not he is guilty your own insecurities and anxieties are probably making things considerably worse. I partly understand your reasons for feeling insecure and anxious about his true intentions, but the reading tells me that not all your anxiety and insecurity comes from this particular relationship. There is a strong suggestion here that you have had your trust betrayed in the past in previous relationships with other men, and naturally you are concerned that history might be repeating itself.

What really concerns me at the moment is not your boyfriend, but you. If your insecurities and anxieties are preventing you from eating a healthy and balanced diet you are unintentionally placing it as well as your mind under significant extra stress. The stress chemicals released into your blood as a result of starving yourself of vital nutrients is guaranteed to make you even more anxious, mentally confused and insecure, and therefore even more likely to make a mistake which you could quickly live to regret making, but which may not be easily reverse.

Although the reading recognises that you have strong feelings for this man, is he really worth making yourself sick over? If he has been cheating you are going to need all of your inner strength and more to tell him where to go, and if he turns out to be innocent is he going to want a partner who is so thin and ill by then that she is a basket case.

There is also a significant danger of an eating disorder developing over time, if this continues for too long. Some people because of their physical, mental and genetic make up are more prone to develop an eating disorder in such a situation as the one you find yourself in. Are you willing to gamble with your own health for any man, in order to find out if you are one of these unfortunate people?

I am not a qualified doctor and accordingly the reading is advising you to consult your doctor with reference to him giving you a physical check-up, with the intention to ensure that there are no underlying medical conditions contributing to your existing anxiety.

So in summary this reading is not going to definitely tell you if he is or is not cheating on you. Unless you have lots of solid physical evidence of his infidelity, keep your suspicions to yourself but at the same time keep your eyes open for any other signs that he is getting cold feet towards you. If your physical relationship is not going well that alone does not necessarily mean that he is putting his boots under some other woman's bed, but combined with enough solid evidence that he has been sowing his wild oats in somebody else's field, this would be enough for you to give him his marching orders.

Take better care of yourself, particularly under times of extreme stress such as these are, and get a physical check-up from your doctor just in case there is a treatable medical condition underlying all this which when treated could help you to reduce your anxiety to a much more manageable level. Not eating a proper diet could easily considerably add to your problems, whether or not your suspicions about him eventually turn out to be right.

The only reliable method to begin resolving this problem and still keeping your relationship alive is to both start to honestly communicate your feelings to each other. Do not accuse him of anything, and I think that you may be surprised to discover that he is just as anxious and insecure about what you expect of this relationship, and of him. Two way honest communication (listening more than talking) of your feelings to each other will soon it is felt sort out what is based upon fact, and what is based purely upon fear.

Wishing you both all the best in life and love,

EoT  :smt057

[niki17]

Thank you so much EOT. This was very helpful. I agree with you my anxiety is getting a bit out of control. I will concentrate on eating a healthy diet and will consult a doctor.

[eye_of_tiger]

Thank you so much EOT. This was very helpful. I agree with you my anxiety is getting a bit out of control. I will concentrate on eating a healthy diet and will consult a doctor.

Dear Niki,

You are very welcome for the reading and the above is probably your best course of action to take at present. No matter what feelings we have about another person, they are never worth making ourselves ill over.

I do hope for your sake that you will eventually begin talking and really listening to each other's feelings again, and that you will discover by doing so that your suspicions about his possible infidelity have no basis in reality.

Take good care of yourself,

EoT