A reading if possible please - would hopefully ease my grief

[Shelld24]

My mum lynn drysdale died just over a month ago on 06/08/13. She was born 27/07/63. We were incredibly close, spoke everyday. Always together. Feel so lost without her but keep thinking I can see signs and shes moving and vibrating things. I dream about her most nights and wake at 3.05 everynight. My 3 year old said she comes to say goodnight and described what my mum was wearing(same as I put on her)

I feel like im going crazy and need a reading !! Would love to know what happenef the night she died if poss. If shes ok, watching us and if shes with any one if possible. Would mean the world to me.

Shellie Drysdale 18/10/1988 from scotland libra xxx

[eye_of_tiger]

Dear Shellie,

Please accept my sincere condolences not only for the very recent loss of your mother Lynn, but probably a woman whom you felt was and still is your closest and dearest friend in this lifetime. The deep sense of connection and shared purpose between your two souls is glaringly clear from the photo which you have so kindly provided.

Please note that we do not normally accept or use photographs for readings in this forum (we do in the picture reading forum), and that members are not supposed to under the rules post pictures of people other than themselves. However I will in your case make an exception to both of these rules, out of my respect for the both of you.

My main problem in helping you to deal with your grief is that mediumship and third party readings are not allowed on Mystic Board under any condition, without exception.

"Please Read Before Requesting a Reading"

http://mysticboard.org/vi ... hp?t=73424

12. Please do not ask for readings for others or third party readings as this is strictly against Mystic Board’s policies. ............. Please note that we do not allow or give medium readings on this forum.

So this reading will only be an intuitive one about you and your relationship with your mother, and mainly look at the reasons why you are so badly and urgently needing to have these questions answered.

While I recognise and understand that you will feel disappointed that I am unable to help you in the exact way that you wanted me to with me not being a medium, I believe in my heart that until you can find a medium that we can at least offer you some comfort and added strength to help get you through what is probably the most difficult and upsetting experience which any of us are expected to survive through in any given lifetime (the death of a parent).

Feel so lost without her but keep thinking I can see signs and shes moving and vibrating things. I dream about her most nights and wake at 3.05 every night. My 3 year old said she comes to say goodnight and described what my mum was wearing(same as I put on her)  

Why I ask wouldn't you feel lost, when you had always been so close and in daily contact with each other when Lynn was alive in the physical sense. She was not just your biological mother, but also at least 95% of your emotional support network.

Remembering back to how I felt when my mother died nearly 10 years ago (we were almost as close as you were, and she was 80), I felt that the emotional rug had been pulled out from under me, made much worse by having lost my father 24 years ago. Yes I have been married for nearly 35 years to the same woman, but a wife no matter how loving can replace your mother. She is special to us, and precious beyond all other Earthly limits.  

I cannot tell you for sure that ALL these signs that she is moving and vibrating things from the Spirit world are genuine evidence of her survival after death, but I do feel that some of them very well may be. There is also a very strong psychological element to the normal grief process, where the human mind tends to see things which it wants to see most, even if they are not really true.

Our minds are so complicated and powerful, that they can hypnotize us into believing anything is possible, when this physical universe and body must conform to certain rules and restrictions. Especially if your mother died at 3.05 and and your 3 year old knows what her burial clothes your mother was wearing but could not have any other way, I feel that we can be reasonably confident that some degree and type of psychic events have been happening. And that they could be caused directly by your mother's surviving spirit.

If recognizing that this is possible helps you to feel less alone and deserted by your mother, then I see no harm and great benefit to you in continuing to hold onto this belief like a life line, UNLESS IT STOPS YOU FROM FUNCTIONING REASONABLY WELL, AND LIVING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO ITS FULLEST POTENTIAL, AS YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MOTHER WOULD WANT YOU TO.

The good news is that you are not going crazy. If I did not believe that our spirits survive death or that our minds are capable of making us see or hear things that do not exist at this level, I would not be able to help as many people as I do (measured by their feedback to my readings and other postings on these MB forums). There are no definite rules to how long you can normally grieve, but it is definitely much longer than a month. Do not allow any one to dictate to you how long it is right or normal for you to grieve, or exactly how you should mourn your significant loss.

Would love to know what happened the night she died if poss. If shes ok, watching us and if shes with any one if possible.

What happened immediately before, during and after her transition into Spirit? The important thing for you to know is that we never die completely alone There are always several specially trained spirits present during the whole process of the person gradually and gently shedding her worn out and possibly sick physical shell of a body, releasing her spirit body of light which is then welcomed to its true home as a celebration. It is like a cocoon has just opened and the butterfly is finally free to soar to the heavens. No wonder then that spirits on the other side of the veil called death regards this as a joyful homecoming.

I don't know about you but I do not fear death itself. It is the pain and apparent feeling of helplessness and loss of control of my body and mind which could lead to my death which I fear the most of all. Yes the body often fights a lot to try to keep going in spite of it progressively no longer being viable and conducive to life as we know it, but long before the actual death our consciousness is regularly leaving our body and visiting the Spirit world in a dream like state.

By the time that our number is up, we have already rehearsed the final separation process many times over. And any physical pain instantly disappears, UNLESS WE FIGHT AND RESIST DEATH TOO MUCH, OR OUR RELATIVES WILL NOT ALLOW US TO GO AND HOLD US BACK FAR TOO LONG AFTER WE ARE FULLY PREPARED TO LEAVE THIS EARTH BEHIND US.

Of course I cannot tell you all the details about precisely when the pain stopped or how many and which of your departed family members came to help your mother across to the other side without any more stress than is absolutely unavoidable, but most deaths follow a common pattern, regardless of the reason for the person dying. It is therefore highly probable that this is what happened with your mother.

Without claiming that I am in direct communication with your mother's eternal spirit, from what I know about her from her daughter and her photo, I feel that she is probably more OK than you can imagine, and is spending some of her time watching over and protecting her two favourite girls, while the rest of her time and energies are occupied in settling down and adapting to her new surroundings in the Spirit world.

Her physical body may be gone, but her loving spirit is and always remain with both of you, as well as with her other family and friends. Carry her around with you in your heart and you do not need to a medium to speak to her in private. Talk to her exactly as you would have when she was till with you, not seriously or religiously or artificially.

None of us are angels, and we do not become one of them when we die. Be yourself and honor her memory by living and enjoying your life as much as she has always wanted you to. Be happy and successful in whatever way makes you feel most happy and successful.

You are a brilliant and highly capable mother to her granddaughter, and spirits like her want you to remember all the good times you shared and include her memory in your thoughts and prayers and family gatherings. But at the same time not to put her up on a pedestal as a saint or perfect person, because it feels wrong to admit that she had faults and weaknesses just like the rest of us.

I sincerely hope that this reading has helped you in some small way to feel comforted and stronger within yourself, at least until you are able to find a medium (preferably offline) in order to help you fill in the finer details. You can always find more generalized information and ask more questions about life after death or the transition process itself on the main psychic forum (no readings allowed there), of which this board is only a sub-forum. Specific, detailed personal information unique to your mother's passing can only be obtained through a mediumship or spirit reading.

Psychic Forum

http://mysticboard.org/viewforum.php?f=31

Love, Light and Healing,

EoT (male)

[Shelld24]

Im very sorry I never read they rules, read different ones.

Id like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your help. Its so nice that you spend your time helping and comforting others. Felt so in need for help, guidance and support. Its only been a month but I do feel like people think I should be. - getting on with it. I can act strong but am in bits and every time im alone I like to talk to her. Your right my mum was 95% all my support. Feel so alone without her. I have a partner of 10years but he doesnt know what to say, feel like hes scared to bring it up and makes me feel even more distant To be honest I know hes good but starting to question if hes right for me.m finding a lot of comfort from beleiving shes ok, happy and painfree. You were right she did struggle and had weaknessed but I feel like ive learned so much from them too. I think everything happend for a reason !!!

Thank you soo much xxxx

[eye_of_tiger]

Dear Shellie,

You are most welcome for the reading. I only wish that we had met each other during happier and easier times for you. But life and death (which is a part of life) both often get in the way of what we regard as being the ideal outcome.

Just as people vary widely in how and how long they mourn their significant losses, many of them similarly have great difficulty knowing exactly what to say to a bereaved person, or whether to say anything at all. Finding the right timing can be critical. To be honest our partners, other family members and friends are frequently in a no win situation.

If they keep talking about the death repeatedly it may cause you to feel even more pain and distress than otherwise would be the case. But if on the other hand they do not mention it on a regular basis, then this is automatically interpreted to mean that they do not care, and that they are incapable of providing you with any support at all.

I am not making excuses for or defending your partner's hesitation to bring up the subject in your conversations, but I implore you not to base your opinion of his suitability based entirely upon the way in which he expresses his own feelings about having to watch you go through such a difficult time in your life as your mother's daughter, and as a couple.

He may be waiting for you to be comfortable with and bring up the subject in your own time, or he may be providing other forms of support that are not the same as those you would have given if your roles had been reversed.

Death is a sensitive and deeply personal subject even at the best of times for both the bereaved individual as well as for their carers, and this is definitely not the best of times for either of you, by any stretch of the imagination.

His way of coping may turn out to be a product of his own upbringing, and his own parent's attitudes to death and dying. Without being able to read him directly by way of a third party reading, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he will eventually come through for you in his own unique way and according to when it is most comfortable for him to do so.

He can potentially if you do not give up on him prematurely, become your new main emotional support person, but please give him adequate time to adapt to your way of expressing grief.

One month is not even long enough for the mind numbing effects which nature mercifully puts in place in order to allow us to do what must be done without being completely overpowered by the emotional fall out of our loss, and it is also nowhere near long enough for your partner to be able to adjust to watching the woman whom I feel that he loves deeply have to learn to continue live her life with both faith and hope but no longer with her mother's physical presence when it is felt to be most needed.

http://www.healgriefwithbelief.com/bere ... ith-grief/

Loving regards,

EoT    :smt049