I have gone through the worst separation of my natural life in recent months and every since the split I just cant seem to find balance. On one hand I feel overwhelmingly blessed due to the good strangers I have been blessed enough to encounter reaffirming myself and my life, but on the other hand I have what seems like a mountain of negative energy to the point where due to a drastic and I do mean severely drastic misunderstanding, I may find myself in harms way and I am having a very hard struggle with depression although I do not wish to harm myself. It seems like I have paths shooting in every direction and I just want to stay going in the direction that leads me back to finding myself and my pursuit of happiness. I'm so lost at this point in my life and although I can feel this is a time where big permanent changes may be happening in my life and I don't want to make a bad or damning choice in the effort to help or put others before my own well being. I know this post may seem like a severe case of rambling...lol I just don't know what else to do, and I feel like possibly this website popped back up due to someone being able to sense how much help I really do need sorting out the things going on. I wish everyone nothing but prosperity, peace, and everlasting kindness and my inbox is always open to anyone needing an ear, or a friend 8-)
God bless,
Kacie
Guidance of sorts or just general opinions lol
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eye_of_tiger
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Welcome Kacie,
I have moved your posting to the only place where I can give you guidance and a reading about it.
The forum where you posted it is only for discussing psychic subjects, but there is no harm done and you have not done anything wrong.
I was deeply moved by learning about your situation, and plan to give you a reading within the next 24 hours.
Try your best to calm down in the meantime (always easier said than done) as I got your message loud and clear, and if you are too anxious and mentally distressed when I give you your reading, this will make my job as your reader that much more difficult than it would have otherwise been.
Keep monitoring this space!
Love and Light,
EoT (male) 
I have moved your posting to the only place where I can give you guidance and a reading about it.
The forum where you posted it is only for discussing psychic subjects, but there is no harm done and you have not done anything wrong.
I was deeply moved by learning about your situation, and plan to give you a reading within the next 24 hours.
Try your best to calm down in the meantime (always easier said than done) as I got your message loud and clear, and if you are too anxious and mentally distressed when I give you your reading, this will make my job as your reader that much more difficult than it would have otherwise been.
Keep monitoring this space!
Love and Light,
EoT (male)
-
eye_of_tiger
- Site Admin
- Posts: 8490
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:47 am
- Location: Adelaide, South Australia
- Contact:
Healer heal yourself, but do not wait until you are fully healed to heal others
Dear Kacie,
What a beautiful and generous soul you are to be offering others healing and a shoulder for them to cry on, when your own resources are already stretched to breaking point. Always putting their needs ahead of your own is what you need to avoid here, but doing it sometimes is perfectly OK and indeed I feel positively therapeutic for someone in your situation.
Rather than someone having died it was your relationship itself as well as your hopes and dreams for it which were destroyed at the same time. You are grieving for a relationship which will sadly never be, even though it has left a nasty taste in your mouth and therefore the separation process was painful to the extreme in spite of the love which once existed between you.
I must admit that I do not believe that each of us has only one potential soul mate alive at the same time as we are, and that if we never meet them or we do and then lose them for whatever reason that our opportunity to be loved has been lost forever. However this reading is effectively saying that your ex was indeed one of your soul mates.
As soon as I use the term soul mate there seems to be a huge misunderstanding among many women about what a soul mate is, which often leads to a lot of unnecessary guilt that they have made a fatal error by leaving that person, and that they can never feel loved again presumably as a punishment for their failings.
After all soul mates are supposed to meet and fall instantly and head over heels in love, be 100% compatible, have no disagreements with one another and live happily ever after. Once they have met they are supposed to stay together, no matter what happens short of their death.
Right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Soul mates repeatedly come together in one lifetime after another precisely because they have ongoing and outstanding issues or differences of personality and perspective which need to eventually be resolved in this lifetime or the next, or the next. Their so called made in heaven relationship often more resembles a battlefield, and when they meet they may be thinking of anything other than permanently settling down with one person. They may remain together as a couple for weeks, months, years or their entire lifetime. Usually it is some resolution about their differences and soul histories has been reached, however long that takes.
So in summary, he was one of your soul mates, but the purpose of your relationship with him this time around has been fulfilled and the main reasons for you to have to stay together for the rest of your natural lives have gone. This now leaves you with wildly conflicting emotions.
In a strange way there is frequently a sense of relief and welcome relaxation which can be compared to the major let down students often experience after having completed an examination for which they have prepared for a long time. You have more than survived this time of trial, but have also successfully in doing so completed or brought to its conclusion this series of lessons which has extended over many lifetimes, so you should be feeling rather pleased with yourself that meeting him again during this life has finally put an end to your mutual commitment to see this through.
If you do meet him again in a future lifetime things could be very different and much better, if you did decide to try to make it work. But there is no longer any feeling of compulsion to you having to stay together according to some past life contract. Understood? So you would expect according to this theory to be feeling happier than you have ever felt in your entire life, now that you have earned your freedom through your own efforts to help yourself get through it relatively unscathed (compared to how emotionally crippled a lesser person than yourself might have been, if she had been through what you went through with such courage and perseverance).
But the important point you would be missing here is that no matter what his faults and weaknesses were (as well as your own), he was and still is one of your soul mates. It is as if one of your limbs has been amputated. People who have had an arm or leg cut off often report a strange phenomenon called "phantom pain".
Basically even though physically the limb is missing, it hurts like it is still present. In fact phantom pain can often be much more difficult to treat and more distressing and more persistent than pain in an existing arm or leg, precisely because the limb or appendage is no longer there. It is a psychological or virtual pain, but it still hurts like hell regardless.
"Cutting off" your soul mate is similar in its destructive effects on your mental and emotional and perhaps also your spiritual comfort than having a leg or arm cut off. You know that if you had kept the limb it could have killed you, but you still miss it terribly anyway. After all it is a part of your body that you have got used to since you were born, and seeing it gone even if it has saved your life by having been removed, you will miss it.
Your reading as a result of this conflict of emotions after the separation comes back full circle to the parts of your request which said, and I quote......
Why can't you sometimes put their needs ahead of your own, and at other times give your own needs top billing?
Why can't you dynamically balance their needs against your needs if/or when required, and still find yourself and be reasonably happy with your life as it is (nobody is meant to be permanently happy)?
It is felt that if you constantly focus only on your own needs at the expense of others, that you will only attract more of the sadness and depression which you are currently feeling. The reading senses a certain amount of anger in you about the apparent unfairness of it all, when so many other women are happily paired off with their lovers and may also have children. And anger against oneself because you feel that you have failed when turned inward can so quickly and easily turn into depression.
By all means take better care of yourself and get some of your needs met some times, but your latent and very significant helping and healing abilities in the lives of other people around you will not permit you to be permanently self absorbed or self centered. Learn to more comfortably and efficiently balance the needs of other people against your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs, and the reading feels that many of your existing conflicts will ultimately evaporate like rain on a hot tin roof.
Healer heal yourself, but do not wait until you are fully healed before you attempt to heal others or help them to get their needs met.. Your own healing and finding your true Self (you already know here your lower self is) largely depend upon you doing both according to the situation: or simultaneously. The relationship made you a stronger person inside yourself where it really matters when the going gets tough, or tougher.
God or the Creative Intelligence has a definite gift or flair for turning something in our lives which might appear on the surface to be a defeat, into a resounding victory. Out of all the pain of your terminated relationship with your ex and the following separation, can potentially come much healing and happiness both for yourself, as well as for those people who come to you looking for help and human compassion.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt051
What a beautiful and generous soul you are to be offering others healing and a shoulder for them to cry on, when your own resources are already stretched to breaking point. Always putting their needs ahead of your own is what you need to avoid here, but doing it sometimes is perfectly OK and indeed I feel positively therapeutic for someone in your situation.
Rather than someone having died it was your relationship itself as well as your hopes and dreams for it which were destroyed at the same time. You are grieving for a relationship which will sadly never be, even though it has left a nasty taste in your mouth and therefore the separation process was painful to the extreme in spite of the love which once existed between you.
I must admit that I do not believe that each of us has only one potential soul mate alive at the same time as we are, and that if we never meet them or we do and then lose them for whatever reason that our opportunity to be loved has been lost forever. However this reading is effectively saying that your ex was indeed one of your soul mates.
As soon as I use the term soul mate there seems to be a huge misunderstanding among many women about what a soul mate is, which often leads to a lot of unnecessary guilt that they have made a fatal error by leaving that person, and that they can never feel loved again presumably as a punishment for their failings.
After all soul mates are supposed to meet and fall instantly and head over heels in love, be 100% compatible, have no disagreements with one another and live happily ever after. Once they have met they are supposed to stay together, no matter what happens short of their death.
Right?
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Soul mates repeatedly come together in one lifetime after another precisely because they have ongoing and outstanding issues or differences of personality and perspective which need to eventually be resolved in this lifetime or the next, or the next. Their so called made in heaven relationship often more resembles a battlefield, and when they meet they may be thinking of anything other than permanently settling down with one person. They may remain together as a couple for weeks, months, years or their entire lifetime. Usually it is some resolution about their differences and soul histories has been reached, however long that takes.
So in summary, he was one of your soul mates, but the purpose of your relationship with him this time around has been fulfilled and the main reasons for you to have to stay together for the rest of your natural lives have gone. This now leaves you with wildly conflicting emotions.
In a strange way there is frequently a sense of relief and welcome relaxation which can be compared to the major let down students often experience after having completed an examination for which they have prepared for a long time. You have more than survived this time of trial, but have also successfully in doing so completed or brought to its conclusion this series of lessons which has extended over many lifetimes, so you should be feeling rather pleased with yourself that meeting him again during this life has finally put an end to your mutual commitment to see this through.
If you do meet him again in a future lifetime things could be very different and much better, if you did decide to try to make it work. But there is no longer any feeling of compulsion to you having to stay together according to some past life contract. Understood? So you would expect according to this theory to be feeling happier than you have ever felt in your entire life, now that you have earned your freedom through your own efforts to help yourself get through it relatively unscathed (compared to how emotionally crippled a lesser person than yourself might have been, if she had been through what you went through with such courage and perseverance).
But the important point you would be missing here is that no matter what his faults and weaknesses were (as well as your own), he was and still is one of your soul mates. It is as if one of your limbs has been amputated. People who have had an arm or leg cut off often report a strange phenomenon called "phantom pain".
Basically even though physically the limb is missing, it hurts like it is still present. In fact phantom pain can often be much more difficult to treat and more distressing and more persistent than pain in an existing arm or leg, precisely because the limb or appendage is no longer there. It is a psychological or virtual pain, but it still hurts like hell regardless.
"Cutting off" your soul mate is similar in its destructive effects on your mental and emotional and perhaps also your spiritual comfort than having a leg or arm cut off. You know that if you had kept the limb it could have killed you, but you still miss it terribly anyway. After all it is a part of your body that you have got used to since you were born, and seeing it gone even if it has saved your life by having been removed, you will miss it.
Your reading as a result of this conflict of emotions after the separation comes back full circle to the parts of your request which said, and I quote......
ANDI just want to stay going in the direction that leads me back to finding myself and my pursuit of happiness
Would it always be a bad choice on your part to put the needs of other people ahead of your own, in the short term?I don't want to make a bad or damning choice in the effort to help or put others before my own well being
Why can't you sometimes put their needs ahead of your own, and at other times give your own needs top billing?
Why can't you dynamically balance their needs against your needs if/or when required, and still find yourself and be reasonably happy with your life as it is (nobody is meant to be permanently happy)?
It is felt that if you constantly focus only on your own needs at the expense of others, that you will only attract more of the sadness and depression which you are currently feeling. The reading senses a certain amount of anger in you about the apparent unfairness of it all, when so many other women are happily paired off with their lovers and may also have children. And anger against oneself because you feel that you have failed when turned inward can so quickly and easily turn into depression.
By all means take better care of yourself and get some of your needs met some times, but your latent and very significant helping and healing abilities in the lives of other people around you will not permit you to be permanently self absorbed or self centered. Learn to more comfortably and efficiently balance the needs of other people against your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs, and the reading feels that many of your existing conflicts will ultimately evaporate like rain on a hot tin roof.
Healer heal yourself, but do not wait until you are fully healed before you attempt to heal others or help them to get their needs met.. Your own healing and finding your true Self (you already know here your lower self is) largely depend upon you doing both according to the situation: or simultaneously. The relationship made you a stronger person inside yourself where it really matters when the going gets tough, or tougher.
God or the Creative Intelligence has a definite gift or flair for turning something in our lives which might appear on the surface to be a defeat, into a resounding victory. Out of all the pain of your terminated relationship with your ex and the following separation, can potentially come much healing and happiness both for yourself, as well as for those people who come to you looking for help and human compassion.
Love, Light and Healing,
EoT :smt051
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