A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
Veggies - Hindi style!!!!
Q: What did the lonely banana say?
A: I'm a..'kela'.
Q: What did the green peas say?
A: Nothing. They just 'mutter'..ed.
Q: What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A: 'Aalo..o?'
Q: Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A: In the "Gobi" desert.
Q: What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A: Why do 'phools' fall in love?
Q: What did the fat car say?
A: I`m a 'mota'..car.
Q: What did the confused egg say?
A: I don't 'unda'-stand.
Q: What language do carrots speak?
A: Gajar..ati.
Q: What do you call a sardarji with one hair?
A: Ik-bal singh
Q: What did the first pizza slice say to the second pizza slice so it would move?
A: Pizza - 'HUT'
Some more , M ore Funny jokes for The day.
Humour and games! A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. A little something to waste your time on and relax.
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