Go Jokes
Rednecks Fishing
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!
Birthday Flowers
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him
.
Welfare applications
For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the U.S. to individuals and families with income below a certain level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.
- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
- I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
- I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
- I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
- This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.
- Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.
- I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
- My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
- Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
- You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
- I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
- I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
Eat the Watermelons
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
Jokes for the day.
Humour and games! A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. A little something to waste your time on and relax.
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
Post Reply
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Jump to
- GENERAL DISCUSSION
- ↳ Introduce Yourself
- ↳ General Discussion
- ↳ Everyday Predictions
- ↳ Humour and Games
- ↳ Inspirations And Words For Today
- ↳ The Hug Exchange
- ASTROLOGY
- ↳ Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Horary Astrology
- ↳ Planets and Houses
- ↳ Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Vedic Astrology Reading Forum
- ↳ Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Reading Forum
- TAROT, PSYCHIC, NUMEROLOGY, PALMISTRY, DREAMS
- ↳ Dream Interpretation
- ↳ Numerology
- ↳ Numerology Reading Forum
- ↳ Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Reading Forum
- ↳ Psychic
- ↳ Psychic Reading Forum
- ↳ Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Reading Forum
- CHINESE ASTROLOGY & SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Chinese Zodiac
- ↳ Feng Shui
- ↳ I-Ching
- OTHER DIVINATION AND SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Gemology
- ↳ Mediumship - Questions and Answers
- ↳ Mediumship Understanding and Development
- ↳ Occult and Magick
- ↳ Paranormal Phenomena
- ↳ Philosophy
- ↳ Picture Reading Forum
- ↳ Reincarnation and Past Life Experience
- ↳ Runes
- ↳ Runes Reading Forum
- ↳ Spirituality
- ↳ Symbols
- ↳ Vastu Shastra
- COMPLEMENTARY HEALING
- ↳ Aromatherapy
- ↳ Chakra
- ↳ Crystal Healing
- ↳ Homeopathy
- ↳ Reiki
- ↳ Self Healing
- OTHER SPECIAL INTEREST DISCUSSIONS
- ↳ Book Review And Discussion
- ↳ Family And Parenting
- ↳ Health And Beauty
- ↳ Let's Go To The Movies
- ↳ Music
- ↳ Mystic Career Quest
- ↳ Mystic Gardening
- ↳ Mystic Pet Care
- ↳ Mystic Softwares
- ↳ Poetry and Literature
- EVERYDAY PSYCHOLOGY
- ↳ Graphology
- ↳ Hypnosis
- ↳ Meditation and Mind Improvement
- MYTHS, FACTS & THEORIES
- ↳ Myths - Fact or Fiction
- ↳ Parallel Worlds and Planets and Aliens
- SUGGESTIONS
- ↳ Advertisements - Link Exchange - Offer Services
- ↳ Recommendations and Complaints
- ↳ Tech Forum
- ↳ Spam / Inappropriate Posts
- ↳ SUN SIGNS
- ↳ Aries - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Taurus - April 21 - May 20
- ↳ Gemini - May 21 - June 20
- ↳ Cancer - June 21 - July 20
- ↳ Leo - July 21 - August 20
- ↳ Virgo - August 21 - September 20
- ↳ Libra - September 21 - October 20
- ↳ Scorpio - October 21 - November 20
- ↳ Sagittarius - November 21 - December 20
- ↳ Capricorn - December 21 - January 19
- ↳ Aquarius - January 20 - February 18
- ↳ Pisces - February 19 - March 20
- ↳ Aries - March 21 - April 20
- ↳ Taurus - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Gemini - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Cancer - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Leo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Virgo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Libra - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Scorpio - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Sagittarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Capricorn - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Aquarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Pisces - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ MYSTIC101.COM
- ↳ Mystic Book Depot
- ↳ Mystic Travel Guide
- ↳ Mystic Health Care
- ↳ Mystic Money Matters
- ↳ Mystic Fashion Trends
- ↳ Mystic SportsLine
- ↳ Mystic Food Court
- ↳ Mystic Bazaar
- ↳ Mystic Competitions
- ↳ Mystic Well Being
- ↳ Mystic Identity
- ↳ Mystic Profession
- ↳ Mystic Friend
- ↳ Learn Tarot - Practice Readings
- ↳ MYSTIC ACADEMY
- ↳ Mediumship- Lessons and Tips
- ↳ Learn Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Class Questions and Answers
- ↳ Palmistry Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Tarot
- ↳ Rider Waite Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Discussion And Ideas
- ↳ Tarot Homework
- ↳ Tarot Lessons And Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Introduction to Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Questions and Answers
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests