Jokes
Doctor's Visit
A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician.
"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced.
"I'm back!"
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
Blonde Convention
80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
Republican or Democrat?
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am,"replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met but, somehow, now it's my fault."
Skeleton In The Closet
A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.
While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police.
When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."
Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more; they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."
The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important."
"Well, who was it?"
"The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."
Jokes for the day.
Humour and games! A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. A little something to waste your time on and relax.
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
Post number 3
Post by ChiefOren » Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:39 pm
I love blond jokes. My wife is blond.
Post Reply
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Jump to
- GENERAL DISCUSSION
- ↳ Introduce Yourself
- ↳ General Discussion
- ↳ Everyday Predictions
- ↳ Humour and Games
- ↳ Inspirations And Words For Today
- ↳ The Hug Exchange
- ASTROLOGY
- ↳ Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Horary Astrology
- ↳ Planets and Houses
- ↳ Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Vedic Astrology Reading Forum
- ↳ Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Reading Forum
- TAROT, PSYCHIC, NUMEROLOGY, PALMISTRY, DREAMS
- ↳ Dream Interpretation
- ↳ Numerology
- ↳ Numerology Reading Forum
- ↳ Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Reading Forum
- ↳ Psychic
- ↳ Psychic Reading Forum
- ↳ Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Reading Forum
- CHINESE ASTROLOGY & SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Chinese Zodiac
- ↳ Feng Shui
- ↳ I-Ching
- OTHER DIVINATION AND SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Gemology
- ↳ Mediumship - Questions and Answers
- ↳ Mediumship Understanding and Development
- ↳ Occult and Magick
- ↳ Paranormal Phenomena
- ↳ Philosophy
- ↳ Picture Reading Forum
- ↳ Reincarnation and Past Life Experience
- ↳ Runes
- ↳ Runes Reading Forum
- ↳ Spirituality
- ↳ Symbols
- ↳ Vastu Shastra
- COMPLEMENTARY HEALING
- ↳ Aromatherapy
- ↳ Chakra
- ↳ Crystal Healing
- ↳ Homeopathy
- ↳ Reiki
- ↳ Self Healing
- OTHER SPECIAL INTEREST DISCUSSIONS
- ↳ Book Review And Discussion
- ↳ Family And Parenting
- ↳ Health And Beauty
- ↳ Let's Go To The Movies
- ↳ Music
- ↳ Mystic Career Quest
- ↳ Mystic Gardening
- ↳ Mystic Pet Care
- ↳ Mystic Softwares
- ↳ Poetry and Literature
- EVERYDAY PSYCHOLOGY
- ↳ Graphology
- ↳ Hypnosis
- ↳ Meditation and Mind Improvement
- MYTHS, FACTS & THEORIES
- ↳ Myths - Fact or Fiction
- ↳ Parallel Worlds and Planets and Aliens
- SUGGESTIONS
- ↳ Advertisements - Link Exchange - Offer Services
- ↳ Recommendations and Complaints
- ↳ Tech Forum
- ↳ Spam / Inappropriate Posts
- ↳ SUN SIGNS
- ↳ Aries - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Taurus - April 21 - May 20
- ↳ Gemini - May 21 - June 20
- ↳ Cancer - June 21 - July 20
- ↳ Leo - July 21 - August 20
- ↳ Virgo - August 21 - September 20
- ↳ Libra - September 21 - October 20
- ↳ Scorpio - October 21 - November 20
- ↳ Sagittarius - November 21 - December 20
- ↳ Capricorn - December 21 - January 19
- ↳ Aquarius - January 20 - February 18
- ↳ Pisces - February 19 - March 20
- ↳ Aries - March 21 - April 20
- ↳ Taurus - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Gemini - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Cancer - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Leo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Virgo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Libra - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Scorpio - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Sagittarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Capricorn - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Aquarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Pisces - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ MYSTIC101.COM
- ↳ Mystic Book Depot
- ↳ Mystic Travel Guide
- ↳ Mystic Health Care
- ↳ Mystic Money Matters
- ↳ Mystic Fashion Trends
- ↳ Mystic SportsLine
- ↳ Mystic Food Court
- ↳ Mystic Bazaar
- ↳ Mystic Competitions
- ↳ Mystic Well Being
- ↳ Mystic Identity
- ↳ Mystic Profession
- ↳ Mystic Friend
- ↳ Learn Tarot - Practice Readings
- ↳ MYSTIC ACADEMY
- ↳ Mediumship- Lessons and Tips
- ↳ Learn Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Class Questions and Answers
- ↳ Palmistry Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Tarot
- ↳ Rider Waite Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Discussion And Ideas
- ↳ Tarot Homework
- ↳ Tarot Lessons And Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Introduction to Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Questions and Answers
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests