Jokes
Tax Payment
Dear IRS,
Enclosed is my Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers (value $1,029). This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
Might I suggest that you send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and "screwdrivers."
Signs Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You...
-- Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit.
-- She's been wearing an engagement ring for three weeks, but you don't recall proposing to her.
-- She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week.
-- She says she has to tell you something... on Jerry Springer.
-- Whenever she introduces you it's always "I would like you to meet an old friend of mine..."
-- She leaves a message on your phone and identifies herself by both her first and last names.
-- Your other girlfriend told you so.
-- The dartboard behind your photo on her wall.
-- Her girlfriends look at you, tilt their heads, and say, "You haven't got a clue, do you?"
Names
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.
The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."
The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.
Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."
Ad Campaign
I saw a new local ad campaign being run for the northern snow birds by our county tourist board. Against a drop dead sunset beach picture, It reads:
Come to the SW coast of Florida this winter for your family vacation! It's got everything...
Sand for the children, fishing galore for Dad, sun for the wife, and plenty of sharks for the mother-in-law.
Jokes for the day.
Humour and games! A laugh a day keeps the doctor away. A little something to waste your time on and relax.
Moderators: eye_of_tiger, shalimar123
Post Reply
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
Jump to
- GENERAL DISCUSSION
- ↳ Introduce Yourself
- ↳ General Discussion
- ↳ Everyday Predictions
- ↳ Humour and Games
- ↳ Inspirations And Words For Today
- ↳ The Hug Exchange
- ASTROLOGY
- ↳ Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Horary Astrology
- ↳ Planets and Houses
- ↳ Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Vedic Astrology Reading Forum
- ↳ Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Reading Forum
- TAROT, PSYCHIC, NUMEROLOGY, PALMISTRY, DREAMS
- ↳ Dream Interpretation
- ↳ Numerology
- ↳ Numerology Reading Forum
- ↳ Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Reading Forum
- ↳ Psychic
- ↳ Psychic Reading Forum
- ↳ Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Reading Forum
- CHINESE ASTROLOGY & SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Chinese Zodiac
- ↳ Feng Shui
- ↳ I-Ching
- OTHER DIVINATION AND SPIRITUALITY
- ↳ Gemology
- ↳ Mediumship - Questions and Answers
- ↳ Mediumship Understanding and Development
- ↳ Occult and Magick
- ↳ Paranormal Phenomena
- ↳ Philosophy
- ↳ Picture Reading Forum
- ↳ Reincarnation and Past Life Experience
- ↳ Runes
- ↳ Runes Reading Forum
- ↳ Spirituality
- ↳ Symbols
- ↳ Vastu Shastra
- COMPLEMENTARY HEALING
- ↳ Aromatherapy
- ↳ Chakra
- ↳ Crystal Healing
- ↳ Homeopathy
- ↳ Reiki
- ↳ Self Healing
- OTHER SPECIAL INTEREST DISCUSSIONS
- ↳ Book Review And Discussion
- ↳ Family And Parenting
- ↳ Health And Beauty
- ↳ Let's Go To The Movies
- ↳ Music
- ↳ Mystic Career Quest
- ↳ Mystic Gardening
- ↳ Mystic Pet Care
- ↳ Mystic Softwares
- ↳ Poetry and Literature
- EVERYDAY PSYCHOLOGY
- ↳ Graphology
- ↳ Hypnosis
- ↳ Meditation and Mind Improvement
- MYTHS, FACTS & THEORIES
- ↳ Myths - Fact or Fiction
- ↳ Parallel Worlds and Planets and Aliens
- SUGGESTIONS
- ↳ Advertisements - Link Exchange - Offer Services
- ↳ Recommendations and Complaints
- ↳ Tech Forum
- ↳ Spam / Inappropriate Posts
- ↳ SUN SIGNS
- ↳ Aries - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Taurus - April 21 - May 20
- ↳ Gemini - May 21 - June 20
- ↳ Cancer - June 21 - July 20
- ↳ Leo - July 21 - August 20
- ↳ Virgo - August 21 - September 20
- ↳ Libra - September 21 - October 20
- ↳ Scorpio - October 21 - November 20
- ↳ Sagittarius - November 21 - December 20
- ↳ Capricorn - December 21 - January 19
- ↳ Aquarius - January 20 - February 18
- ↳ Pisces - February 19 - March 20
- ↳ Aries - March 21 - April 20
- ↳ Taurus - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Gemini - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Cancer - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Leo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Virgo - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Libra - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Scorpio - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Sagittarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Capricorn - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Aquarius - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ Pisces - Daily Horoscope
- ↳ MYSTIC101.COM
- ↳ Mystic Book Depot
- ↳ Mystic Travel Guide
- ↳ Mystic Health Care
- ↳ Mystic Money Matters
- ↳ Mystic Fashion Trends
- ↳ Mystic SportsLine
- ↳ Mystic Food Court
- ↳ Mystic Bazaar
- ↳ Mystic Competitions
- ↳ Mystic Well Being
- ↳ Mystic Identity
- ↳ Mystic Profession
- ↳ Mystic Friend
- ↳ Learn Tarot - Practice Readings
- ↳ MYSTIC ACADEMY
- ↳ Mediumship- Lessons and Tips
- ↳ Learn Palmistry
- ↳ Palmistry Class Questions and Answers
- ↳ Palmistry Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Tarot
- ↳ Rider Waite Tarot
- ↳ Tarot Discussion And Ideas
- ↳ Tarot Homework
- ↳ Tarot Lessons And Tutorials
- ↳ Learn Vedic Astrology
- ↳ Introduction to Western Astrology
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Lessons and Tutorials
- ↳ Western Astrology Class Questions and Answers
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests