Funny One Liners.

[prasanna]

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.  He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal! To kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the BEER holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. God must love stupid people; He made  so many.

11..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

12.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

13.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

14.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.