could someone please help me out here: The Deer

[dessa]

And to think that less than two years ago--although I guess I'd heard the word--I had no idea what a synchronicity might be until someone (ironically, the daughter of the spirit who now guides, teaches, and looks out for me--how's THAT for a synchronicity?!!) told me that that was what the things I was describing to her were.  Of course, at that point I didn't believe that people could communicate with spirits, either, and would probably have thought that anyone who said that they could was either crazy, a fraud, or a crazy fraud...

Doe

LOL Well one crazy to another,

I find it interesting how that had an interesting synchronicity,
I am also a Lexigram'er, most don't know what that is,

It is taking a word, phrase, or name, breaking it down to their base letters then forming a word list, then forming sentences that define and describe the oringal word, phrase or name

For example:

North = HNORT = NOT HOT
SOUTH = HOSTU = SO HOT
ADOLF HITLER = ADEFHILORT = LORD OF HATE
PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN = HE DIES SHOT IN HEAD

Well
SYNCHRONICITIES
CCEHIINNORSSTY
SCRY HINTS TO HISTORY
SCRY HINTS TO HIS STORY
SCRY HINTS TO HER STORY
SEE HINTS TO HER / HIS STORY
HER / HIS STORY IN SYNCHRONCITIES

Even the word synchronicities shows that it has hints to what is going on.

dessa

[RoseRed]

Hahahah yeah Doe I'm not really subtle. Never been one for arb chat - I seem to bring it in full force! Gotta keep things interesting!
No offence taken at all!
I do know that I should prob spend more time observing its just that I've been observing my entire life. I refused to talk til the age of 7. I was just learning how to behave. I remember when I did start talking I knew that I had made a mistake cause i was forever in trouble cause I did not behave the way I should. like I didn't care about the same things in the way I was meant to. My mother sat on my bed when I was about 13 and was crying her eyes out saying that I am not her child, who AM I?? That I am evil etc
That was when I decided to change and be like everyone else. That lead me down a very destructive path and I might have lost my way - Like you said Dessa, alot of Indigo's are born into households that do not understand them.
But then when I hit 21 everything exploded around me, I was aware. And this time is wasn't going to go away.

So if you can't then it is either you are not yet allow yourself to see some truths, that putting up these shields and closing off yourself to some degree in such situations doesn't mean you can't open up again, don't fear losing the skills you value, they are always with you if you allow them to be.

You see I am very afraid that it will go away.
So you see I have only been 'active' for 2 yrs now and I am very dissapointed that I have wasted such valuable time so i am on a mission. I need to move forward and kinda catch up in a sense. There is just sooo much work to be done that I struggle to just not be working. What I have done is take that whole concept of "If you have done badly today then be better tomoz" I have condensed it and made it "If you have 'stuffed' up this minute then be better the next minute". The person I was yest is no longer the person I am today. I sometimes can't believe the change in me from the beginning of the week til the end of the week. Its great but hard work. Esp since i am studying at the same time. And I am living with my parents again, which brings in a whole host of different issues.

I do get very low at some points, it does get too much but then I cry and holla all night and then the next morning I feel ready to begin again.
I really feel that I have no choice. This is what I must be doing so gain headway - I created such terrible things in my reality when I decided to "be like everyone else", I created such terrible illusions and manipulations that I've needed to put this amount of work in in order to start again.

all you have to do is love and be gentle with your child, and don't make any assumptions as to who he/she will or should be beyond being a kind, compassionate person.

that is just so beautiful thank you so much. So true. So true.

they may be those who seek to develop skills to use and exploit, they may use their skills to help and to heal, they may tend to be seeking a spiritual path, or they may be only looking to develop skills without a spiritual balance.

This is something that I was actually shocked about when I first came across it. I thought that it could only be about balance and I was very wrong about that! I think my heart cried when I first came to that conclusion.

because people broadcast loadly

hahaha! Yeah I think I do too - that is something I'm trying to tone down. But have no idea how to...?
It came about because I didn't talk for such a long time, so I would talk to myself in my head and so now I find it is very difficult to think quietly to myself and for others not to hear me.

once your barriers are in place strong enough those few won't be able to cross the line.
Emotion is a way in, and one of the best defenses I have found against those who are intrusive is laughter...And realized what was happening around this person...After that I could remain calm around this person with out the fits of laughter, seems that the laughter the first time was enough to create a wall he could not breach.

That is so amazing you mentioned the laughter thing cause I have used it on occasions! I just found it worked and so happy that someone else noticed that it does help. Yip not crazy. WhooHoo!
How do you remain calm? you just do, or is there a little thought process you go through?

when you let your anger run away with you, you give your power away to others, when you can remain calm you can reveal what you want, or keep what you want private.

That is so true! now that you have mentioned the whole emotions is a way in. Light bulb moment for me. Whenever I have struggled is when I have let my emotions get away with me. I can get worked up just so quickly! Jees have no idea how I am going to be able to achieve that man's calmness! Truly amazing!

it is still a learning process, the nice thing is, it is ever learning and ever growing, knowing that and trusting in that and in self is key to finding balance so it is a help in your life not a confusion.

thank you - i needed to hear that cause I tend to have quite a few voices in my head at times and sometimes they can be pretty negative which make me go "huh? That not meant to be doing that?.....right???" and then I get myself into a right mess over the whole thing.

I have had a terrible temper in my life it comes from feeling things strongly but finding a balance can help that alot, seems like you understand that, and this person who is getting in your face so to speak doesn't get it...those who push their talents for reasons that might be less than positive in other areas of their lives. Or do this with out the balance of seeking a spiritual path

def. Thank you for mentioning it, cause this is ringing true big time.

The real problem will be your daughter's stubborness, you will tend to but heads a great deal she is far more determined than you are, which is saying a lot.

aaaahhh cr*p man! I thought so. Glad you picked up on her cause I have been a little worried that she might be a handful, I guess my mothers wish came true then. My mother said that the only thing she prays for is that my children will give me as much of a hard time as I did them! hahaha! and it is saying alot cause I am stubborn! LOL

I am not a biological mom, but I raised my niece, one is to find the balance, the other on how to cope, cause of the extras, trust yourself, don't take a knee jerk reaction, those extra abilities means you can be aware so that when your children face issues on their own, you can be aware of it, and find a place where you know the difference between your children being upset, and needing to deal with and learn life's lessons, and the difference of feeling they are in danger.
Just as you face your own fears, your children will face theirs.

aaahhh thats great advice! I think it sounds alot easier than actually doing it, but I am glad that I am thinking about these things so I can digest it now so that hopefully by then I will be stronger in my abilities of balance etc.

But I was taken completely aback by the absolute ferocity of my love for my son when he was born.  I knew I'd love him, but I'd never felt such an instinctive, visceral protectiveness and adoration (even when I didn't get to sleep for nights at a time!) before that in my life.  Maybe love can be equal in quantitative terms, but there are different qualities of love for different situations.  It can just feel very different--not less or greater,
necessarily...just different.

that is exactly what I am worried about. hahahahaha! Perfectly described!

Your son is not just your son, just as my son is not just my son. I am his caretaker, yes, and I love him dearly despite the things that annoy me. He does not belong to me though, no more than you belong to me. We are caretakers of each other.

I must say I do agree with you that that is the way it is meant to be. But holy moly I have no idea if I can pull it off.

Added to that the strength of their empathy means feelings things so strongly, which is never easy.  
Those with empathic skills have a to have strong shields, to survive sanely.

I would recommend that you read  How to do Automatic Writing, by Edain McCoy, not because you need to learn automatic writing, doesn't matter if you never do, though her clear to the point way of creating a protective shield around yourself and of creating threads of connection through out your chakras and the earth and with the Divine. are wonderful.

thank you!
Will def have a look and check it out.
I have also been working with the idea that you don't need defence techniques cause all defence techniques are double edged. They can be used against you. Say the shield thing, put to much of a big one up then don't let anyone in and you can't feel anything.
I read a FAB book recently and they were saying that the only protective method is Truth.
(fear = lack of love, the only way to fix lack of love is with perfect love/unconditional love = Truth = Atonement)
That anything else is a double edged sword. It can cut both ways.

Just as you feel those coming at you. And I do not doubt that some of them are to some degree psychic assaults, often by people who do not even know they are doing it, but some may not be others trying to force themselves on you so much as it is your own talents are so strong for you to hear others that it feels like an assault.

sometimes I go with people who are connected to me on a soul level

That is just SO wonderful, I wish! The ppl that I usually went with as my supprt group would lose their grounding and then i would be on my 'own' again, while helping them out.

It is hard, because you use your intuition as part of who you are, part of your thinking functioning process. It is as natural to you as breathing, so when you have to shut it off, you can't function, or so I have found this to be true.

you really need to keep your shields up strong and tight, but if you put them up that strongly you are completely blocked, and can't use intuition, if you open up to use your intuition it doesn't work as well because you get swamped by so many people.

Being in a larger crowd would be like going to a major electronics store, turning on every tv, every vcr, ever radio, every cd player, all playing something different and trying to make sense of it all.

Snap!
That is exactly what happens. When i put up my shields up tight then I feel nothing which feels like I am not a person anymore, I fall into things, if someone comes up to me I jump out of my skin because I didn't feel them coming etc
So then I would drop them and then it is like a barage of info and feelings coming swarming in. Its esp crazy after the 'silence'.
You have explained it perfectly. Absolutly to the T.

LOL you are Leo I find it hard to believe that a Leo wouldn't rise to the challenge of being able to find a balance of putting up enough of a shield against all that, yet still keeping open enough to be able to function.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
I needed that! A good kick up the a@%!

Brings me to another point that I was worried about-that maybe I was working too much on the gentle side and not giving my 'leo' side enough attention. Thank you.

There could def be some truths that I am not seeing. I think now that I give this some thought...that I was so thrown into the deep end, and those ppl did not help. It got really bad. That I think I might still be in a semi-victim role.
Maybe I little scared to stand up again and face it...??? hummmmm

So look to your signs, your sun, your rising, your moon, [moon can be especially helpful] find out how to use the strengths of those astrological influences to help you with this,

I actually did this the other day, I will have to research on how it can help me.
(17th August 1985 10:30am Port Elizabeth, South Africa)
Your Planets & Houses
Zodiac in degrees    0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun   Leo         24.23 Ascendant  Scorpio 11.55
Moon  Virgo        6.37 II      Sagittarius   10.46
Mercury  Leo       13.59 R     III   Capricorn   3.58
Venus  Cancer      17.18     IV           Capricorn 26.44
Mars   Leo          14.55 V       Aquarius    23.19
Jupiter    Aquarius    10.24 R     VI           Pisces  28.20
Saturn   Scorpio     21.53      VII   Taurus  11.55
Uranus  Sagittarius 13.59 R    VIII   Gemini 10.46
Neptune Capricorn    1.02 R    IX          Cancer 3.58
Pluto    Scorpio  2.18 Midheaven  Cancer 26.44
Lilith      Taurus   8.28  XI          Leo        23.19
Asc node Taurus      12.25     XII   Virgo   28.20

Planets in the houses
Sun  in XI
Moon  in XI
Mercury  in Midheaven
Venus  in IX
Mars  in Midheaven
Jupiter  in IV
Saturn  in Ascendant
Uranus  in II
Neptune  in II
Pluto     in  XII
Lilith      in     VI
Asc node  in VII

I have found myself in tears for hours when I have had to go to NYC, to many people to many emotions

oh man thank you for saying this cause I do this often whenever I go out into a busy place, its
always great and dandy and then I actually start thinking hey this might be okay...but then it seems to start to erode at me and then I start getting frustrated cause i can't think anymore, esp when I go grocery shopping, I float all over the place and bump into things etc. I walk out of there completly drained and exhausted. I find then I will be totally out of sorts for some time until I wind down. hahahaha!!! LOL its all quite funny when I read what I have written but at the time...gosh I get upset. Which now I realize makes it easier to get effected.

Learning the skills the strengths and yes vulnerablities of those astrolgocal and totem influences can be very helpful in finding your own personal way to shield yourself so you do not have to isolate yourself...Developing your own form of shields will also, so knowing your signs, and totems can help you find your own shields.

Are you familiar with the personal totem?
Of the nine totems that help you over your life? knowing your own nine power animals may help you.

I am not familiar. Only what you have mentioned in your deer post. help?
I have only just begun the journey of figuring out which totems are guiding me, but then had to stop due to my studies. I'm not really sure how to go about it actually. Just doing a guided meditation and thats when I came up with Deer.

One way that works for me is to put my shields in place and then let my guide only lead me. So that when I start to get to much from others I can still function.

Now that is GREAT advice!!!
Thank you I am going to start working on this.

To Doe: There are so many who would love to be able to easily talk to spirit...that they wonder what it must be like to have abilities like you do.

LIKE ME!!!
I certainly do not talk easily and have been wondering how wonderful it must be to be able to do this, to be able to have a full on conversation with spirit. How wonderful! I think I might be getting better but its not 'set' yet.

As for the medium... I am crushed you mean you don't sit in a room with clothes and curtains draped every where 48 bracelets on each wrist, with your eyes rolled back chanting oh spirit ....well darn, shattered all my illusions. lol

BAH HA HA HA HA HA AH HAAAA!!!!!!!!!

For me I have no problem asking for advice, guidance, insights, and then for those directions that work best working towards them, lol I will even ask my angels and guides to help me find lost objects etc, I don't see it as asking for extra favors, but just tuning into the natural energy that is all around us, using that as a guide, but I also feel it is important to appreciate those helping times messages, guides, shoot I appreciate just being me and being alive.

I am the exact same way. I kinda like the fact that I have assistance always ready and willing to help, I am always very appreciative and I always greet the new day, "HELLO UNIVERSE!!!"

Our souls or spirits each and every one of us has a song, not sure no one else I know of has spoken of hearing people like this but I figure I am not the only one it is a big world, I may not be able to see aura's but I can hear songs, the spirit songs are the fingerprints of our souls, each is specific to an individual, oh some might share a tempo, or sound or color, but they are unique to the individual. just as the patterns in the whorls and lines of our fingerprints are.

wow dessa that is truly beautiful-I have never heard of that before but it is a wonderful way.
I usually sense ppl and their vibration will kinda let me know what kind of person they are. On a very basic level. And as i am young their are many diff kinds of 'ppl' that I still need to meet. But I think that is a really really
beautiful way.

a nap every now and again helps.

Hear hear for that! I am a huge fan of the ol nap. I actually need to. I need that switch off time otherwise I get insane headaches.


I love the way that this has gone! Great conversations and so much information being shared!

[dessa]

RoseRed wrote:  
You see I am very afraid that it will go away.
So you see I have only been 'active' for 2 yrs now and I am very dissapointed that I have wasted such valuable time so i am on a mission.

 RoseRed, you need to think about something, have you ever worked on a project put something together etc, when you rush things sometimes the quality is not there, or if you try to force something in place it breaks, but if you take your time, work it out, and do what for me is something difficult to do, give it a little patience, you will figure out how to make it work, fit, or whatever?  
None of your time was wasted, instead of looking at this as wasted, time, think of it this way sometimes we learn very valuable lessons on non psychic levels that will key to helping us develop our intuition,
So that maybe you are not catching up but pushing to much to soon, you mentioned how being a mom is going to be a concern for you because of your desire to protect your child, well maybe you should practice being a mom to yourself, nurturing yourself a bit, think about this, really think about this, if you had a child you loved, would you push them out the door expect them to run marathons, before they even learned to crawl let alone walk? Or course not, but that is what you are doing to yourself when you push yourself to far before you are ready when it comes to psi skills, and you are doing more harm than good, which is part of the trouble you are having going out around people, what good will it be to have these skills if you are going to drive yourself to the point that you will need to hide like a hermit of old in a cave on some isolated moutain? What good will you be as a parent when the time comes if you can't function in the world your child will need to grow up in?

There is nothing wrong with drive, and desire to learn they are wonderful things, there are so many things I need to learn still, and I have been on this journey for a very long time, anyone who tells you they know it all, is the first person not to listen to, lol cause they likely know very little.

And something else, you won't know it all, oh you can touch the divine, but you were not there when it all began, so you won't know it all, lol but hey in time you maybe can know most of it.

Take it in steps, and stages, cause if you keep pushing yourself with too much to soon you could seriously burn yourself out.
As for this stuffing up every minute, sometimes you are so busy stuffing up every moment you are missing a great deal. LOL the cliche stop and smell the roses is more true than you know.  

I have a stack of books, some on science, some on history, some on metaphysical topics, that I wish to read, and get, as well as a stack I already have, but sometimes I read books that are just for the fun of it, and sometimes I just sit and listen to music just to relax, or go for a walk,
Its getting cooler now so might be harder to do but you may be surprised at what you could learn just sitting under a tree and letting yourself relax with nothing.
Or you may learn nothing at all. Which is fine, those times of learning nothing at all is just your brain taking a nap, your body needs a rest, your mind needs a rest [as student you must have noticed those times when you just can't study another minute] well so does your psi,

The hardest things to learn in life are letting go of fears, finding patience, and learning to stay calm, I still am working on those things and I have known to do this for decades LOL

As for those low points you have then move on, well that is cool, something that took me a long time to realize, is that it is ok to feel to get upset, sad, angry whatever, I can let myself feel, even let those feelings wash over me, because they do just that wash over me, and just as the water of a shower goes down the drain if I let my feelings wash over me rather than hold on to them or try to block them then they can be done and over with and I can move on, if I try to block them they stay with me like a festering wound. The trick is knowing when to try to keep a reign on them and when and how to let them go sounds like you found the answer for you, wit he cry and holla all night so you are fine the next morning.
 

RoseRed wrote:  
It came about because I didn't talk for such a long time, so I would talk to myself in my head and so now I find it is very difficult to think quietly to myself and for others not to hear me.

Just trust yourself, it is ok to think to yourself if there are things you want to remain private, mark them as private so others can't take them even when you do not realize it you are marking those private places.
hmm well let me explain, When you meet people or do readings for people they are to some degree lettin you in, so it is like their minds, souls are like a house, with many doors, to many rooms and many windows etc, the key is to not open any doors but to only wander in those places that you have been invited to. Some people you may never get through the front gate,into their 'yard' others you may never get past their 'front porch' others you may see every room, closet, and cabinet door is open.depends on who it is but most have private places that even the most empathic and gifted can not enter just be being near, but only by force.
You think you broadcast really loudly but you have so many closed doors its not even funny. Which is fine, it is just who you are. Other ideas and views of yours you shout from the rooftops with a mega phone into a micrphone that is attached to the worlds biggest loudspeakers lol which is also fine. "wink" it distracts folks from seeing the closed doors.



RoseRed wrote:  
How do you remain calm? you just do, or is there a little thought process you go through?


hmm well I don't always remain calm, not sure it is always the same, sometimes it is due to the guides and angels, and guardians, and spirits around me lol freaked out one soul who was trying to send me healing energy during a sick spell once, lol he said that he was suddenly surrounded by more "people" than he could count, lol he wondered if I knew that I was surrounded by so many and I did, actually surprised three people each when they realized that I was always surrounded by so many. LOL live enough lives you are bound to pick up a few friendly souls, ghosts, spirits, along the way.
So sometimes the calm is not really my own, it is me being surrounded by them, and wrapped in their warmth. sometimes the calm is just part of me, I have always known I was safe, protected, and then when I was 14 something happened that kind of cemented that, which helps, oddly enough I can be more calm around a negative entity and even the face of evil, than I can annoying people LOL. Sometimes yeah I have to work at it, and kind of say hey wait,, think, take a step back, this little mental pep talk is needed sometimes. and sometimes I don't remain calm LOL
But depending on what you are facing there is a level of calm that comes from knowing you are well protected.
As for achieving the calmness of that man I mentioned, lol dang wish I could do it, cause lord knows I can't yet, lol but I do try.

RoseRed wrote:  
thank you - i needed to hear that cause I tend to have quite a few voices in my head at times and sometimes they can be pretty negative which make me go "huh? That not meant to be doing that?.....right???" and then I get myself into a right mess over the whole thing.


Ok this is something that can be important, it does sound as though you are clairaudient, and this may be where like I said rushing things, pushing for to much to soon could be not good for you.
Learn how to protect yourself, I mentioned the book by Edain McCoy, I found this to be helpful to create a level of protection with out shutting out everything that is out there.
I say this because those messages you get, that are so negative they are NOT good, not good at all, they do not come from a good source,
You may get messages that say NO don't do that, that is not a negative message it may be a guide or angel trying to protect you, such as a parent telling their child not to play with fire or sharp knives, you should be able to tell the differnce by how you feel when you get the messages, those messages that say no don't drive today ... well it is not negative if it is coming from a loving place and trying to keep you from being on the same road as say a drunk driver who might cause an accident for you. On the other hand, you may have dreams you wish to follow and get a message to wait, or don't do something for those dreams, see how you feel, not feel about the message but feel about the energy around the message, if it is a loving one, it could be a guardian angel letting you know that while you should pursue your dreams there is something you either need to do, or for some reason a waiting is needed, this will be a message telling you that you are not getting what you wanted, but it is more of a wait message, and should still have that loving energy around it.
A message of NO don't do this, that has an agressive feeling to it, or even a less happy or positive feel to it could and is likely coming from a negative source , or entity, this is when you shut down, put shields up, and tell this being, entity, source to get lost,
That is the time that a good tactical retreat is very beneficial.



RoseRed wrote:  
cause I am stubborn! LOL


Gee a Leo who is stubborn who would have ever thought it? LOL


RedRose wrote:  
aaahhh thats great advice! I think it sounds alot easier than actually doing it, but I am glad that I am thinking about these things so I can digest it now so that hopefully by then I will be stronger in my abilities of balance etc.


Well it is much easier to give good advice than it is to live it, LOL and yes much of this is SOOO much easier said than done, wish I could live it all the time, I have not reached that level of enlightenment yet. Being aware of it, and knowing it is a balance you strive for helps to get it though.




RoseRed wrote:  
I have also been working with the idea that you don't need defence techniques cause all defence techniques are double edged. They can be used against you. Say the shield thing, put to much of a big one up then don't let anyone in and you can't feel anything.


It is something to think about, however I do not see it so much as defence for me I see this wonderful sheild? bubble? circle of light? whatever works for you, and I see it around me, one that protects me but it is not double edged, it can't be used against me, see for me it is established in such a way that only who I allow in can pass through it, this then protects me from the negative, and yet still allows me to be open to the postive. So I do not face the issue of "you can't feel anything"
Unless I am going through a growth spurt, then I have to find the new balance? frequency? level? of this shield? barrier? bubble? whatever ... the new level needed that keeps the balance with my new level of growth, but its ok cause I keep it working at old levels and I have learned now how to protect myself during those growth spurts so I am not so completely overwhelmed nor completely shut down.

Something you can learn in time but first learn the first steps before you learn the higher ones. You mentioned in one of your posts how you had to keep rebuilding your foundation, it is possible you had to keep rebuilding your foundation because you tried to build it to quickly, to much to soon kept some of the stablity away from it. it is possible any way.

It is kind of you to appreciate what I am sharing, but then again lol just because something works for one person doesn't mean it will work for everyone.


RoseRed wrote:  
Brings me to another point that I was worried about-that maybe I was working too much on the gentle side and not giving my 'leo' side enough attention. Thank you.

There could def be some truths that I am not seeing. I think now that I give this some thought...that I was so thrown into the deep end, and those ppl did not help. It got really bad. That I think I might still be in a semi-victim role.
Maybe I little scared to stand up again and face it...??? hummmmm



hmm well there is nothing wrong with finding the gentleness of a Deer, but think about this, these animals have survived for centuries, and not with a gentle kiss to the world around them, there is also a strength, think of two stags locking antlers in battle, or as the story Doe shared of the mother's stance to protect her young. The tricky part is finding the balance between using gentleness and fighting.

When I was nine, I told the principal of the school off big time, my mom was standing close enough to smack me, understand this we were raised Irish Catholic tradition, [if you don't know what that means it can be easy or hard to explain] well the principal was a nun, but mom was cooler than most or wiser than most, she didn't hit me, didn't punish me or even tell me I was wrong for telling the woman offer, she may have been a nun but she was WRONG....
The only thing my mom ever said about it, was "you should have said it nicer"
For it it wasn't so much what was said but how it was said. That is a REALLY hard balance to find, but vital.
If you have seen the movie Sister Act with Whoopi Goldberg, at the end of the movie, she says "bless you" to someone, lol well the tone, etc, was NOT a blessing by any stretch of the imagination, ... not what she said, but how she said it.
Maybe deer is trying to share with you the abilty to balance between the lion's roar, and the gentle deer,


RoseRed wrote:  
Sun Leo 24.23 Ascendant Scorpio 11.55 Moon Virgo


LOL that can be a wicked blend, I was supposed to have been born the end of August and be a Virgo sun, but I stubbornly waited until end of Sept and so I am Libra, lol my Moon is Scorpio, and my Rising is Leo LOL and I was born in 65 not 85 LOL.
But I know that Leo/ Scorpio combination can be a tough one at times lol


RoseRed wrote:  
I am not familiar. Only what you have mentioned in your deer post. help?
I have only just begun the journey of figuring out which totems are guiding me, but then had to stop due to my studies. I'm not really sure how to go about it actually. Just doing a guided meditation and thats when I came up with Deer.


There are different ways to do a totem, one of the best ways is through meditions, I find listening to R. Carlos Nakai helpful though some may be distracted by music, he plays the Native American Flute, there is so much life and soul in his music and it is great for meditions.
Others find silence good for meditations, sometimes your totems may come one at a time other times you may find them in groups, Jami Sams has a deck of cards called Medicine Cards, that she has a way of drawing the cards to help find totem animals that are right for you.
Another way perhaps get a book on animals from the library look at them, see the images if you are drawn to particular animals they could be the one for you
Or is there an animal you are drawn to always have been for no apparent reason?
2 examples from my life.
1. I don't know why but I always felt that the snake got a bad rap, it just didn't ring true to me that he was so evil, etc, also I always preferred silver to gold, later on I learned that I was born in the Chinese year of the snake and thought ok maybe that is why.
Then a friend of mine who was a guard had found something on the ground one night, if you knew how BIG the place was where he worked for him to have found this was amazing but he did. We were out a group of us, he drove when he handed it to me, and said here hold this, I kept it in my hand the entire night, but didn't know what it was later on when we were parting company I tried to give it back to him, for the third time, and this time instead of just saying no you hold it, he said no keep it it belongs to you. It was a charm of a silver snake.
Later I learned snake was part of my personal totem.
Another is the Manatee, and for some reason I always spell Manatee with a capital M, I am not much of a swimmer, I live in NJ have only been to Florida once, and was no where near where Manatees were, but even before going to Fl, I loved the Manatee, I felt like they got such a raw deal,
This could be another way you know of a personal totem because the animal calls to your heart.
Or you could see about dealing the cards from Jami Sams medicine cards though not all animals are in the deck.
More recently I have learned that the Serval is part of me, I saw a picture once by accident looking for something else online, and have been haunted by the animal ever since.
So it is possible that your totem can change, I have different decks of animals cards that I use for guidance, and would be glad to draw some for you if you feel the need for them, but you best way to find your personal totem is to trust yourself, find your guided way, such as always seeing or thinking of a certain animal or finding an image of one and knowing inside of yourself there is a connection,

You will find that the animals will come ot you as you need them and need their lessons to learn some are person, and with you forever others are going to walk with you as you need them, for a particular time in your life.



RoseRed wrote:  
wow dessa that is truly beautiful-I have never heard of that before but it is a wonderful way.
I usually sense ppl and their vibration will kinda let me know what kind of person they are. On a very basic level. And as i am young their are many diff kinds of 'ppl' that I still need to meet. But I think that is a really really
beautiful way.


It is all good that whole journey we are all young and all have so many wonderful people to meet just not all of use realize it.

Thank you, it is kind of you to say, hmmm
I learned a long time ago that there is a quirk or catch to spirit songs, or soul songs ...
You kind of change the senses, by this I mean I can say hear, smell, feel what a color looks like, see, hear, touch, what a flower smells like, smell what a song sounds like, and feel sight sound, smell, though touch and emotional feelings,
And it is in a language that is not a language at all it is a sensation, and has to be translated , lol so that well hmm ok I have a friend whose song sounds like a ball gown with clown shoes.
When I said this to a group of people who knew her she and they laughed because it was such an accurate description of her, oh sure she can have the elegance of cinderella at the ball, but she can have a good laugh at herself and the world with all the slapstick humor of a clown, but also she wears a mask like clown makeup so that not every one sees the true her. So she sounds like a ball gown with clown shoes...
Sometimes a soul song or spirit song is just pure emotion, and some souls are so awesomely beautiful, it is amazing, there are just no wordds to describe, love is awesome to hear on a soul level,
Think of all the best emotions in the world, think of all the greatest beauty in the world, think of the awe of all the natural wonders in the world, and it is still not as beautiful as pure deep love sounds.
Some souls are so beautiful it is a shame that people can not hear what they themselves sound like, Doe is one of those souls, that it is just a blessing to be able to hear her soul. RoseRed, I know you have appreciated the wisdom of her words and sharing, but oh how I wish you could hear her soul, Doe is one of those truely awesome soul songs.

[Doe]

Dear Dessa and RoseRed,

Well, this morning I spent about 20 minutes writing a post to the both of you, and then my son's father came in and accidentally shut off my computer before I could hit Send. I was, um, a little annoyed...

I just don't have the energy today (I'm in kind of a fog, for some reason) to try to remember it all and rewrite it, but I'll just say a couple of things.

First, to Dessa--I saw your last post last night just before I went to bed.  I was reading along, thinking that you'd told RoseRed a lot of things that I'd want to tell her myself, and then I got to the end.  What you wrote about me floored me.  It was such a beautiful, sweet thing to say, and I spent a lot of time before I fell asleep trying to understand it, and why you would think that!  In any case, I wanted to thank you for saying it.  (The ironic thing is that, a little earlier, one of the spirits who talks to me on a regular basis was saying, very gently, that I was "getting too worked up" about things on MB.  I said something about how I was afraid that my ego might be getting too involved, and he said, "I didn't want to say it, but..."--always very diplomatic!  And then I read what you wrote, which, of course, went right to my head!).

RoseRed, most of what I wrote to you was echoing what Dessa said--especially about trying to rush things.  I wrote a lot, but what I wrote in my latest post under "Mediumship" about trying to control things kind of sums it up.  There was a lot more about protecting yourself, and also about the fact that, as amazing and wonderful a thing as it is to be able to talk to spirits, it's not always joyful--it has the potential to be frightening and very sad.  I also mentioned that I loved what was said in the book you read--something about fear and unconditional love.  It really resonated with me, based on things I've seen and tried to learn.

I also agreed VERY much with what Dessa said about people who claim to have all the answers for you  (as in, run, don't walk, away...).  And I think I said that the only soul among the living has all of the answers (at least all of the ones you're meant to have) is you.  But you'll get the answers when it's time for you to get them--to use them in the best possible way.  It's just not up to you...I learned (and I'm still learning!) that the hard way.

Anyway, in that conversation about MB, my ego, etc., last night, it was suggested that I stop being "around" here so much so that I can concentrate on learning what I need to learn.  There is a LOT to learn here, if you keep an open mind and heart.  But everything that anyone tells you (including me) is just a signpost--a place to stop and consider if it feels right to YOU, and then either go in the direction it points in, or go another way, having thought about what it is that seems which direction is the one based as closely as possible on doing things based on love in whatever form.  Amazing things happen when you just take things as they're given to you, without trying to be the one in control.  It's a really hard thing to learn, but I've found that it's worth it.

Anyway, both of you are more than welcome to PM me--we've been having such a great conversation!

OK--I'll go before my computer gets shut down again...  Thanks to both of you for giving me so much to think about.

Doe

[looking_glass]

"Sign Post" reminded me of something I read once:

Sign Post

Not everything I write is for you. Not everything you see is for you. I feel we are guided to where we need to be at any given moment in time. Sometimes we see what we are meant to see, and other times we glaze over things and move on. Some will return either to repeat what they have failed to learn and others will return because they wish not to move on; either stuck in their way, or lost for words or the will to put the next foot forward. Our lives are like gears, always in motion but not always in sync.

What you see of me is not all that I am. What I write is not all that I am. What I wear is not all that I am. Not even what I've learned in school or the sum of all my experiences is all that I am. I am a sign post. I am a road map. I am no one. I am someone. Who I am is not your perception of me. I am as you are as you are as me.

I am a simple Joe on a not so simple path. I am who you want me to be, but I am still me.

[RoseRed]

Whoo haaaa! Okay hold the phone!
I can feel a box coming down over me and it's not the one that fits. I am extremely stressed out from my up incoming examinations so I think some of that high, intense energy may have transferred into my posts. For now when I think about it, it can seem like I may be (with my high levels of stress) what I call “extremists” – which I am certainly not. But I can understand why someone would think that of me right now.

Either I have not explained myself appropriately (which is very def the case) or you guys need more information.
I think it is both so here goes, now settle in folks cause this is going to be a bumpy ride!:
I was born in South Africa in a city called Cape Town. Now if you are not aware of South Africa and it's history then I recommend reading up a little. It is a place of great ups and downs. But it is still a third world country and having grown up there you had to learn how to survive. I have been mugged at knifes end more times than I can count, all my possessions stolen, my car ripped apart, my flat ransacked, I have many close friends who have been hurt in serious ways incl rape and a week later they are back at work. I have even been driven off the road by taxi’s etc etc. That is just the way it is and you have to survive no matter what.
It is a dangerous place but also the most beautiful place in the world – top tourism place actually.
It's only bad for the locals really since we live in it all day every day. The children grow up fast – they have to. Now I don’t want to give my home country bad press but I am just trying to be realistic here. I have seen many things in my short 23 yrs that many I hope will never see in the whole lifetimes.
Okay there is some background:

I am going to describe the day when I ‘woke up’:
My awakening goes a little like this...(about 2 years ago, since then its been like a 1000yrs every single day)
When I first became sensitive to all of 'this', 'this' is a great general word for ALL of it. I really got thrown in the deep end. It went from zero to 1000 in one breath. I was on a dancefloor at a trance party and all of a sudden I knocked out, now when I knocked out this is what I saw: Felt an intense pressure in the head and all around my head like it was being squeezed, then it became a humming sound then turned to imagery, me, my conscious was this ball of black. Me in this vision was outside of this ball of black, I was looking at this ball.
First a gecko tried to squirm its way into the ball, (if you can image a sperm trying to find it's way into an egg), I got very frightened by all of this, so i grabbed its tail with my hand and pulled it out, this was NOT easy! I mean I really had to drag it out, then I would slip on the tail and have to grab again and start pulling again. I was sing a lot of strength and energy just trying to stop it fro penetrating. Finally I did drag it out and it disappeared.
Then next came this sword , the word that comes to mind is celtic, The handle was a very specific imagery and still to this day am trying to find out where it came from? I grabbed its handle and tried the same, but this was so so so very strong that i lost my grip, esp since I was so ‘spent’ on the whole gecko battle and it just went sliding in! Then there was a bust of light in the ball, it kinda exploded and was no longer a ball with boundaries it was open wide space, then there were these tiny little red dots all around. I got the sense that it represented all the ppl awakened. (Almost like in the movie Xmen when the professor is able to see all the mutants all over the world).
They then all started to group together turn a brilliant white and start resembling the DNA structure, whizzing around!
Then completely combing and boom white light all over.
Then I opened my eyes (which was in actual fact about maybe 2sec later) I could feel everything around me! Every person, every tree, the ground I was standing on, the mountains, the sun-I could even smell the sun! I felt the wind as a presence, I tried to walk back to my camp site but it was like I was wading in water, I could feel the earth all the way up to my navel. It was insane and then I realized I could feel ppl in my head (the only way I can explain in) and I just freaked!!!! As I was a VERY private person (also didn't have much self confidence at all) and just the THOUGHT that someone could be reading my thoughts made me reel! So I did the only thing I thought I should do and that was to push these ppl out from my head. That was not a good choice. But anyways that is another story for another time.

The whole thing was rather startling to say the least.
To go from having the occasional intuitive moments to this full scale level was quite drastic to say the least.
I didn’t have a moments breath to even try understand what was going on and the next sec all these ppl were ‘flooding’ into my head with all their emotions etc
Then having these ppl mess with me for so long – well anyway I really don’t think I have explained how bad it really got.
Think about this: What happens when a whole bunch of ppl only really concerned about are things such as getting laid – to put it extremely crudely- and themselves. (How they can get ahead in life, they have no morals whatsoever.) What happens when these ppl start getting gifts and abilities? You can get a potentially very dangerous situation.
For instance, I have been subjected to spiritual rape as I call it on a few occasions. That is the day my heart and soul bled. The more you try get rid of it and as the panic starts to rise the more energy you are actually focusing on it and so makes it worse. You give more of your power away. You guys might have not sensed it yet – but it is happening and it's happening more often out there than you would like to imagine. When I first mentioned this to my reiki master he thought I made it up – or I was enjoying it or something like that. Like I created it etc etc. I have spoken to friends about the same thing and they were shocked, as they had felt it too and didn’t know what it was. Well 2 years later and my reiki master came to talk to me about it saying that more and more of his clients are mentioning the same thing.
So when I say I freaked out-I really freaked out!
And when I say ppl messed with me, they really messed with me on many different levels.

These last 2 years I have not worked once on my abilities. The only ‘work’ I have been doing is learning about what the hell is going on, what exactly am I feeling, how do I prevent some things. Through that process I naturally started to change and I started becoming a better and better person, & I realized that I also needed to work on myself.
So in no way am I forcing things AT ALL. I am trying to digest and understand what I am feeling and sensing. I’m just trying to cope – trying to stay sane.
I have not even used my abilities intentionally once! Only reiki.
I have no idea what I can do – I know only what I can feel and I’m trying to build up a solid base so that when or if I start looking at what I can do then I will be coming from stable ground.
I would very much like to be at ease in my surroundings, esp since I am still young, but I have lived many a year and age is really not significant. As we all should know.
And another thing it is not all doom and gloom – I am happier now than I have EVER been!

Another thing that might help you guys better understand where I am coming from is that when I use ‘’ over a word it is because that word is completely relative.
I will use it say over ‘good’ ‘bad’ etc I do that as an intentional daily reminder to myself that what is good? What is bad? Who decides? etc etc.
So I always keep things in perspective.

Here are some fundamentals that I live my life by.
the very words you choose have various interpretations
there is no wrong/right/good/bad
doesn’t matter which rd you took it's why you took it.
it ALL comes from the source
everything around us has cycles
everything that is, is.
No time is wasted. You are exactly where you are meant to be have faith in that.
don’t blow things out of proportion
some things will always remain a mystery
laugh
there is only one thing that exists and that is unconditional love, which is Truth
more likely than not you will be ‘wrong’
if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans
everyone and everything has their role in this life
be a better person every day
patience
humility at all times and in all situations
many do not know what they do – it's unconscious.
you have all the info and tools within you – anything that you could ever need is within you – just look.
you are not lucky – but blessed ( Doe )
you deserve abundance in every single way and in all facets!
everything that you learn is a positive lesson
one will never be able to see all sides
learning things yourself, makes it easier for others to learn it.
if it doesn’t have a higher purpose then don’t do it. (I use this with regard to abilities – as an example: so what you can move an object with your mind, whats it's purpose? etc)
Intention is a major factor behind all things and one should be aware of it.
Take responsibility for every thought, word, emotion and action & take responsibility for others thoughts, words, emotions and actions – set them free!
There is strength through innocence (Lion and the Lamb image)
You are perfect in all ways – there is no lack
When you are with someone and share info there is symbiosis happening – they learn unconsciously from you and you them (even over the internet)
Always keep your eyes and ears open because the universe is always talking to you through your surroundings helping and guiding you.
There is a higher purpose for everything that happens to you  (feeding off the what is , is)
Choose to be happy – it is a matter of just choosing - the power of choice – and you have to make a choice, can’t go around choosing not to choose.
The only difference between intelligence and wisdom is the act of doing (yes you can know all these things but it is very different when you do them and integrate them into every breath and blink of an eye)
you can handle anything that comes your way, otherwise it wouldn’t be there.
Be in every single moment completely – smell, feel, touch, taste, see completely
Always say thank you!
Forgive yourself
you are a spiritual banker; if you get 100 kudos each day how are you going to invest it? Only invest in high positive return accounts. Take your energy out of investments that give hardly any returns or negative returns. ie Let go of your baggage!
Always ask for help
Knowledge speaks- Wisdom listens – Jimi Hendrix
We (light workers) are in the service industry – We are just the hose pipe connecting the info and energy from up there to get down here. We are here to serve.

These are the things that are behind every time I speak or write.
I tend to think that these are the fundamentals –this is what I call my base – which I am still working on – and I tend to make the assumption (wrongly) that these are also apart of the base of others. So I sometimes forget to say these things because I assume that the other person must know them already.
So for that I apologize.

Okay now as that as a base let me get to replying! hahaha

You think you broadcast really loudly but you have so many closed doors its not even funny. Which is fine, it is just who you are.

Now that is really really interesting! I never knew that I was keeping such tabs on the doors…I knew I had that when I was younger…I thought I had opened them…actually i thought i'd taken a crow bar to some...
I don’t really know if that is a ‘bad’ thing – even though I think it sounds like it is.
I wrote this earlier and after a little thought I wonder if this is due to me “switching” off after my mother had a complete breakdown – when I made a choice to completely change and be like everyone else. Maybe I had to shut all those doors in order to be able to do that??? I have an insanely strong will power.

Other ideas and views of yours you shout from the rooftops with a mega phone into a micrphone that is attached to the worlds biggest loudspeakers lol which is also fine. "wink" it distracts folks from seeing the closed doors.

I certainly don’t want to be like that. I don’t think that is fine at all. That sounds terrible in my opinion. I certainly wouldn’t like to be at the other end of that.

Gee a Leo who is stubborn who would have ever thought it? LOL

BAH HA HA!! exactly! that’s why I don’t like the sound of my broadcasting techniques – makes me seem like “I’m da sh*t, yo!” Which I know I am certainly not. That is terrible actually the more I think about it.
*sigh* how am I going to ‘fix’ that.............*sigh* I guess all in due time.

Something you can learn in time but first learn the first steps before you learn the higher ones. You mentioned in one of your posts how you had to keep rebuilding your foundation, it is possible you had to keep rebuilding your foundation because you tried to build it to quickly, to much to soon kept some of the stability away from it. it is possible any way.

I was rebuilding so often as I kept building a base and then realized it was completely ‘incorrect’ so had to start again. I really have not been pushing anything. That is why I am just so confused you and Doe keep on saying to me that I must stop pushing. Cause I really have only been pushing on ways to survive as a sane person with all these feelings…I just started feeling, seeing and hearing things from that day. I haven’t worked at any of it. It just came to be; I just started hearing/feeling/seeing.
and then I’ve been trying to work out what it is.
I mean before that day I had no idea what a crystal was! Even though I was always interested in the other side of life I had no clue really.

LOL that can be a wicked blend, I was supposed to have been born the end of August and be a Virgo sun, but I stubbornly waited until end of Sept and so I am Libra, lol my Moon is Scorpio, and my Rising is Leo LOL and I was born in 65 not 85 LOL.
But I know that Leo/ Scorpio combination can be a tough one at times lol

yeah I also stubbornly wouldn’t come out for an entire week! Got everyone worried- leo dramas of course! My father is a Scorpio and damn- man –well yeah… and my mom is Virgo (black & white to the extreme).

I have different decks of animals cards that I use for guidance, and would be glad to draw some for you if you feel the need for them

This is what I have come up with over the last couple of months,
-->I have always shad rats my entire life and I LOVE them – they have been there throughout my entire life and they are apart of my very fibre. I have so much love and respect for them.
-->The wolf has been with me for many years (had a dream when the pack came to carry me away, like I had the choice to join the pack or not – this was about when I was 14yrs old- I was obsessed with city life then, all I wanted to do was go out and party and when I was given the choice, go somewhere I had no idea about or go dancing. In very blunt terms. I was foolish enough to choose the dancing side/city life – but as I know now it was the ‘right’ choice as everything happens as it must)
-->Deer
-->Never liked monkeys etc but then gorilla kept on coming up in my life so I had to take another look at them, and now I respect them, a lot.
-->Butterfly (just so many major moments I can’t describe them all)
-->Vulture
-->Cricket
-->Bat
and I think maybe even frog?? – they do keep on popping up 
-->Lion and other sorts of cats like the Lynx etc
-->I like snakes but they have had some very mixed feelings for me as a symbol.

I would very much like for you to help me out here, as I feel that I do trust you.

RoseRed, I know you have appreciated the wisdom of her words and sharing, but oh how I wish you could hear her soul, Doe is one of those truly awesome soul songs.

I wish I could hear it too. But I def do know what a wonderful person she is – so even though I might not hear it I can feel it.

and he said, "I didn't want to say it, but..."--always very diplomatic!

That is brilliant!!! hahahaha!!!

RoseRed, most of what I wrote to you was echoing what Dessa said--especially about trying to rush things.  I wrote a lot, but what I wrote in my latest post under "Mediumship" about trying to control things kind of sums it up.  There was a lot more about protecting yourself, and also about the fact that, as amazing and wonderful a thing as it is to be able to talk to spirits, it's not always joyful--it has the potential to be frightening and very sad.  I also mentioned that I loved what was said in the book you read--something about fear and unconditional love.  It really resonated with me, based on things I've seen and tried to learn.

I also agreed VERY much with what Dessa said about people who claim to have all the answers for you  (as in, run, don't walk, away...).  And I think I said that the only soul among the living has all of the answers (at least all of the ones you're meant to have) is you.  But you'll get the answers when it's time for you to get them--to use them in the best possible way.  It's just not up to you...I learned (and I'm still learning!) that the hard way.

Thank you so much Doe for helping me out here.
I will def go and have a look at that thread!
So much to learn…it's an amazing thing!
I hope to see you on here again and I shall def send you a PM if I need to bounce ideas, that goes for everyone

ooohh I really like what you wrote looking glass. Love it when stuff like that happens.
Thank you guys for taking the time to read what I have written.
I really appreciate it.


edit - spelling oh the dreadful spelling!

[Doe]

Hey, RoseRed,

Just a quick note to say that I certainly didn't mean to put you into a "box", or imply in any way that you're doing anything "wrong".  (Your list of "fundamentals" makes me think that your heart and mind are in wonderful places--it also made me laugh--in a good way!--in a few places...not to mention that you quote Hendrix !)

My "advice" about taking it slowly, "going with the flow" rather than trying to rush, control, or over-analyze, would be the same for just about anyone dealing with this "stuff"--especially in a case like yours, where so much has happened in so little time (much the same as it did with me).  It's just on my mind a lot because it's still something I'm trying to learn (just trying not to frustrate to madness the spirits around me who try to teach me things!).  I used to, and still do, make assumptions about things that just lead me off in all kinds of half-baked directions!  You sound as if you're much wiser about things than I ever was, and I know you'll be fine.  I guess I was just trying to save you some trouble, but that's probably unrealistic and maybe counterproductive in some ways.  We all need to go through our own "trouble" to become stronger, and eventually get to the really good stuff!

Doe

[dessa]

Dear Dessa and RoseRed,

Well, this morning I spent about 20 minutes writing a post to the both of you, and then my son's father came in and accidentally shut off my computer before I could hit Send. I was, um, a little annoyed...

I just don't have the energy today (I'm in kind of a fog, for some reason) to try to remember it all and rewrite it, but I'll just say a couple of things.

First, to Dessa--I saw your last post last night just before I went to bed.  I was reading along, thinking that you'd told RoseRed a lot of things that I'd want to tell her myself, and then I got to the end.  What you wrote about me floored me.  It was such a beautiful, sweet thing to say, and I spent a lot of time before I fell asleep trying to understand it, and why you would think that!  In any case, I wanted to thank you for saying it.  (The ironic thing is that, a little earlier, one of the spirits who talks to me on a regular basis was saying, very gently, that I was "getting too worked up" about things on MB.  I said something about how I was afraid that my ego might be getting too involved, and he said, "I didn't want to say it, but..."--always very diplomatic!  And then I read what you wrote, which, of course, went right to my head!).

I also agreed VERY much with what Dessa said about people who claim to have all the answers for you  (as in, run, don't walk, away...).  And I think I said that the only soul among the living has all of the answers (at least all of the ones you're meant to have) is you.  But you'll get the answers when it's time for you to get them--to use them in the best possible way.  It's just not up to you...I learned (and I'm still learning!) that the hard way.

  Anyway, both of you are more than welcome to PM me--we've been having such a great conversation!

OK--I'll go before my computer gets shut down again...  Thanks to both of you for giving me so much to think about.

Doe

Doe,
My sympathies on the computer shut down, I know how that can be, lol though my partner leaves puter on all the time, lol we have power outs and lol my one dog likes to try to crawl under the desk to lay at my feet and leans into the button which is very sensitive and shuts down the puter on me Rotty/Lab mix is just not a small dog no matter what she may think.

As for dealing with issues of is your ego or isn't it getting in the way, I think that is part of the growing process, the learning process, to find that balance in your skills, that place where you KNOW you are talented, gifted, skilled, whatever you want to call it, but you also know that this is something more than you, so that you can find balance in being confident in your abilities, with out bringing your ego into it,

I have meet people and not just psychic skills, who were sure of themselves knew they could what they needed to or had a talent for something, but they didn't let that go to their heads to the point of yeah makes me better than others in some way. Or whatever other idea might come to mind,

I can't see you as someone who would get to that place where you think this ability would make you better than others.

Also there is a difference, between sharing your ideas, with others and leaving it up to them what they choose as right for them, and shoving your views down someone else's throat, and trying to force them to agree with you

You share your experiences, and views, and perspectives and perceptions, and let people decide for themselves, that is a gift, you give that sharing.

I know I sound so sure of myself when I write different things, I also know that I find what works for me, and feel that others will do the same.

The dialogs can sometimes help me to put my ideas into words when perhaps I didn't even realize I was holding that ideal.

So sometimes  I learn myself from the sharing, and can then only appreciate the format in which I was able to find this self discovery.

I mean what I say about you Soul its song, is very awesome, most souls are in one way or another, but some are special,

Yours doesn't have the tones it would have if your ego were running away with you, that you would look at this aspect of yourself says a lot about you.

I also went that route when I was younger, of letting ego get in the way and it slowed down my learning and growing, I think we all go through it at one point in our development.

I am sure you will find that you already have what you need for that balance between self confidence and over developed ego, the line is thinner than that between genus and crazy.

I am not sure how it happened, when I said that about you soul, it just kind of flowed almost as if it came from more than me, I just at the time I wrote it felt it was MEANT to be there.

Which didn't make sense at the time but does now, combined with what you were getting and what you were doing for self analyzing, shows that you needed to know, that it is OK to know you are special, [though personally I think everyone is special in different ways] so long as you remember to look at yourself and not become lol the primadona diva tude, that could interfere with growing, learning and developing.

It is funny how you shared that message about how your spirit guided you, kindly with sharing the idea of not letting ego get in the way, ... it matches what I was saying shows the point how even something that someone might take as telling you hey... watch yourself, ... was done in a loving way rather than a negative one.

Now if only I could learn to do that as well as those lovely guides do.

As far as not being around so much well I know how that is I go in spurts making connections, then kind of going quiet, because it is part of who I am, and all part of the learning and growing,

It is important not to also not be so busy with something that you are ignoring the higher aspects.

I am sure your next learning growing is going to be very special.

dessa

[dessa]

"Sign Post" reminded me of something I read once:

Sign Post

Not everything I write is for you. Not everything you see is for you. I feel we are guided to where we need to be at any given moment in time. Sometimes we see what we are meant to see, and other times we glaze over things and move on. Some will return either to repeat what they have failed to learn and others will return because they wish not to move on; either stuck in their way, or lost for words or the will to put the next foot forward. Our lives are like gears, always in motion but not always in sync.

What you see of me is not all that I am. What I write is not all that I am. What I wear is not all that I am. Not even what I've learned in school or the sum of all my experiences is all that I am. I am a sign post. I am a road map. I am no one. I am someone. Who I am is not your perception of me. I am as you are as you are as me.

I am a simple Joe on a not so simple path. I am who you want me to be, but I am still me.

Lookingglass

That was awesome thanks for sharing do you know where it was from?

[looking_glass]

"Sign Post" reminded me of something I read once:

Sign Post

Not everything I write is for you. Not everything you see is for you. I feel we are guided to where we need to be at any given moment in time. Sometimes we see what we are meant to see, and other times we glaze over things and move on. Some will return either to repeat what they have failed to learn and others will return because they wish not to move on; either stuck in their way, or lost for words or the will to put the next foot forward. Our lives are like gears, always in motion but not always in sync.

What you see of me is not all that I am. What I write is not all that I am. What I wear is not all that I am. Not even what I've learned in school or the sum of all my experiences is all that I am. I am a sign post. I am a road map. I am no one. I am someone. Who I am is not your perception of me. I am as you are as you are as me.

I am a simple Joe on a not so simple path. I am who you want me to be, but I am still me.

Lookingglass

That was awesome thanks for sharing do you know where it was from?

I wrote it a while back..it spilled from my heart.

[dessa]

It is beautiful and helpful to keep around, kind of as a reminder when you might get side tracked, I have printed it out.

thanks again for sharing.

[RoseRed]

Thanx everyone for such wonderful input!

Wow the Deer has certainly taken us all on quite the journey; right from the gentleness of a deers stare, the protectiveness over its young and then to the strength of two stags locking antlers in battle. There is certainly alot I can learn from such a wonderful creature and I am honoured that it has chosen to show itself to me

the balance between using gentleness and fighting. So many lessons!
Thanx again everyone!!!