Yet Another Devistating Dream

[johnswifey86]

This would be the second dream i've had about my sociopathic husband. I dreamed that we were in our apartment again. And in this dream I again had the feeling I was trapped there. I tried to climb out of a window to escape but my husband was right there telling me I couldn't leave. I dreamed that we were in our room, but we had two seprate beds. One for me one for him. He was laying in one bed and I was in the other. But I was laying in the bed w/ another guy. He was very sweet and kind, the way i'd like my husband to be towards me. I looked at the guy w/ worried eyes, and he said "I have to go but I will come back for you". So he left and I watched him leave knowing I wouldn't survive before he could come back. So I went into the kitchen where my husband was and he pushed me up against the refrigerator and put a gun to my head. And he said again "I am never going to change, I will never get help, I will always be this way". Then he brought the gun down to my stomache and shot me....but I ended up living. It has alot to do w/ the last dream I posted but can't figure out the other guy, the 2 seprate beds, and my husband shooting me but me living. It's really confusing me. I appreciate any kind of feedback, and anyone taking the time to read and reply. You wouldn't know how appreciative I would : )

[Rook]

To me this dream could be laying out your fears quite plainly.  You feel the need to escape but feel trapped.  Could the man in the other bed be representing what your husband seemed to be before you were married perhaps?  Or what you wish he would be?  And then you come to the realisation that this man that you fell in love with / hope for will not return.

The gun is usually a masculine symbol and being shot in the stomach sort of indicates to me pregnancy?  Symbollically anyhow, but I get the feeling it is more of a fear of physical harm, that may be resulting in stress being stored in the abdominal region perhaps, or giving you a queasy feeling in the stomach.

Overall I would say you are starting to come to terms with the idea that he is not going to change.

I am terribly sorry, my heart goes out to you.

Best wishes,
Rook

[johnswifey86]

Thank you Rook, I truly appreciate your reply. And what you are saying about the fear makes alot of sense. The fears you suggested about the pyhsical harm/no change are fears I have. You seem to me to be a very good dream interpreter. I think I may have known some of what my dreams are telling me but it's nice to get conformation from someone like you who seems to be pretty knowlegable in this area. I do acctually have stomache issues. I get bouts of nausea alot. I assume it's related to the anxiety my fears and stresses cause. My husband has never really been the kind of man like the man I described in my dream because he lacks the sensitivity and emotion. But I think you hit the nail on the head w/ the suggestion of what I wish he would be. Again I would like to thank you and let you know I think yur very good at dream interpretation, I hope you have a great evening

[solisill]

You are talking about very intimate matters regarding your marriage and i think it is very difficult to address them in such a forum because it seems to me that the matter you are talking about needs to be discussed in great detail and i am not sure that can take place in such a setting.  

From what i hear, i get the sense that these ideas you have recently had about your husband are more of the recent therapist you have been seeing and not entirely yours.  It seems to me that your therapist has told you that your husband is a sociopath and that he can never change because that is what psychologists believe, "that sociopaths can't change."  However, i am not sure if that is entirely true because i believe that current psychology is filled with error.  But i get the sense that your therapist has exaggerated the situation and convinced you of some kind of doom in this relationship.  (Again this is the sense i am getting, and it could be wrong)

I know very little about your husband or of his actions but i can tell you that there is probably reason for the things that he does, despite what modern psychology may have you believe about him being a sociopath whose behavior is unchangeable and incomprehensible.  Also, you are in a very spiritual forum, and you might be familiar with the idea of reincarnation and karma.  But the underlying belief is that there is rhyme and reason for all our situations and circumstances in life, that people are attracted to certain situations in life based upon their previous actions.  That people choose and plan their lives prior to incarnating to help them learn necessary lessons in life.  So, basically you chose this situation inorder to help yourself learn a particular lesson.  Usually the case is that in the past the situation was reversed, so the energy you are encountering was the energy you sent out in the past.  Normally we project problems we have with ourselves out onto the world.  You have a great desire to be loved by your husband, but that is probably due to you not liking yourself.  Those who look for love from others usually are not happy with themselves.  I know it sounds harsh, i dont mean for it to be, but i think this could be true for you.  You should understand that you cant control others you can only control yourself.  Instead of trying to change him you should try to change yourself.  Instead of always looking for love from others, you may need to learn to love yourself.  This is of course very easily said, and very very difficult to actually implement.  Once you love yourself then you can truly love others.  Instead of focusing on the lack of love you recieve, you should focus on and control the love you give yourself, him, and others.

Again i think it is very hard to guide you regarding such an intimate matter in such a forum.  I do not know what kind of behavior your husband demonstrates, if your husbands behaviour consists of physical abuse then that problem should probably be discussed with someone you feel comfortable.  My response is based on what impressions i have of the situation, and they could be wrong.  I am basically giving you ideas and suggestions which i think you might find helpful, and to offer different ways of looking at and approaching the problem.  Finally, some advice: if you believe your husband cant change then guess what he wont, but if you believe he can then over time he may be able to.   Good luck with the situation, and i hope i was helpful, sorry if i sounded harsh.

[sweetsunray]

Johnyswifey, I too got the impression with your reply on your previous dream that it was your therapist who suggested to you that your husband is a sociopath. But maybe we got the wrong impression. People who are diagnosed with a pathology aren't diagnosed via a third person, but after tests and questionaires done by one or more psychiatrists. It would be unethical to diagnose a third person who has not been screened. It is possible that the therapist is right, but then also quite possible they are not right. As long as it hasn't been properly diagnosed, it can only be a suspicion of sociopathy. But as I said, perhaps we got the wrong impression from your previous posting, and your husband has been truly and properly diagnosed, rather than on hearsay. If it is only a suspicion, it was not only unethical from your therapist towards your husband, but to you as well. It may seem to help to finally make it "fit", but when there is no true pathology, putting people in boxes or putting labels on them will make the matters even more complicated in the long run.

That said, on to a symbol of your dream. The shot in the belly. The one place in our physical body where we feel emotional impact the most is the belly: butterflies when in love, cramps when nervous, nauseous when horrified. I remember an emotional pain once, which was so excruciating that I woke up from a troubled sleep and it felt like I was slowly bleeding to death from my belly, as if someone had stuck a knife in there... My emotional pain was like Tim Roth taking a shot in his belly in Reservoir Dogs and dying for hours. And I physically felt it. So, it's no wonder that the second, emtional world chakra, is located here. I think the shot in your belly in your dream is similar to that. You live, but you will be hurt emotionally in such a way that you will feel a part of your emotional life is doomed or killed.