MY DIRTY LAUNDRY- I dont know where to post so here it is!

[Deborah]

I dont know who else to turn to .....my best friend who I always lean on is not around ........
I have been really ..blaaaaa feeling like I can not do anything correctly...
so here I sit airing all my dirty laundry to ppl who .. well do you know me ? do you care?

Is this energy being picked up from someone else ? or is this my own self destructiion?

I help others to the point that they walk on me .. Im nothing but a door mat to many! ok so i thought i had stoped that ........guess I am wrong .. there is always someone above you someone more powerful more strong that is waiting for you at the top of your ladder to just kick your butt back down..........heck i htink they have just broke the top of my ladder anyway so why bother climbing if one always just gets kicked down............

Im pissed at the world .. im angry am fed up ............
Im sitting here crying over something soo flippen stupid ...

- I didnt sign up for school - somoene had a fit about it so i didnt do it .. I should of

- Im threatened to be sued from another site ........for advertising my little yahoo group blaaaaaaaaa

- I had a friend who said she would work for me ...and backed out ..now in 2 weeks i will be over my licensing! ...........big trouble

- I dyed my hair and part of it is orange .......why? orange of all flippen colors ...........loreal is going to hear from me next!

- my flippen family are slobs they think im a servant

I am soo fed up ..............Im sick of all of this sick of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[samantha234]

Dear Deb,
I know you and I care, can you contact me through the yahoo? my msn isn't working! If you need to talk, i am here for you!
                                                                    Your friend,
                                                                            Samantha

[Rhutobello]

Yes I care Deborah!
But since I am fairly new on site and don't know you personal I will use your post as  recepie. It's not in order to be funny on your cost!

I have been really ..blaaaaa feeling like I can not do anything correctly...
so here I sit airing all my dirty laundry to ppl who .. well do you know me ? do you care?

I am sure many of us care, and as you feel confident in writing this, you do it right. When you air your frustration, you get it out of your chest and can put your finger on thing, which I will do.

Is this energy being picked up from someone else ? or is this my own self destructiion?

It's a negative energy which has build up because you haven't (or feel like) got any posetive energy back.

I help others to the point that they walk on me .. Im nothing but a door mat to many! ok so i thought i had stoped that ........guess I am wrong ..

Yes, people are like that, if you help, it goes around and other comes and if you are good in it,you get so many that it breake you down.
Only one solution, you must set the border...you must fight for your border, not think; I take 1 more, because there will always be 1 behind the 1, and none can save the world alone.

Im pissed at the world .. im angry am fed up ............
Im sitting here crying over something soo flippen stupid ...

Crying is good...it show feelings...it get negative feelings out of your body.

- I didnt sign up for school - somoene had a fit about it so i didnt do it .. I should of

Use this year to prepare for next years school, always trust your own intuition about such thing.

- Im threatened to be sued from another site ........for advertising my little yahoo group blaaaaaaaaa

remove your add, I don't think they bother to sue you, and if you are dooing what they ask...they have no case either.

- I had a friend who said she would work for me ...and backed out ..now in 2 weeks i will be over my licensing! ...........big trouble

Okay now you know how good friend it was, hope you manage.

- I dyed my hair and part of it is orange .......why? orange of all flippen colors ...........loreal is going to hear from me next!

Okay, and what so, wear it proud, you are yourself; not everyone else. Use it as your orange revolution

- my flippen family are slobs they think im a servant

Sorry but you "to blame", your family has learned that you do all for them, you have to put up border, you have to be firm in what you expect them to do, if not you will be their maid for the rest of your life

I am soo fed up ..............Im sick of all of this sick of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To tell the truth, we all are from time to time, that's why it's good to yell it out, so one can be finish and go on
Big smile and a hug to you and whishes about a speedy recovery!

[NoobixCube]

Even though I'm a very new member (been here all of a few hours more than Rhutobello, I think), I can say that I care quite a lot, because I feel just the same very often, and have only just come out of a patch like that.  There's a reason I made my MSN email address public, so you know you can use it any time you want, if you want to talk your issues out.  In some ways I feel like the Grim Reaper - All people come to me sooner or later :P.  Christ, that puts a sour note to it, meh, you get the idea.  The invitation goes out to everyone too, not just Deb .

Anyway, as I was trying to say, everyone who I count as a friend has come to me at some point, and just make sure you know that if you ever need to, I'm practically always online.  If my status is away I'm either at Uni or in bed though :P

[Vishwas]

Deb u know I can't put it in so many words like Ruthobello or Noobix (especially not with a broken hand). But still I do care for u, most of what Ruthbello says sounds better than what I could say, & we all are there for u. If swetha & sbhishek hadn't gone out of station, they would be the first to post here & speak to u.

Any time u need someone to speak, I will be there on msn or yahoo to speak to u. I care for u & so do many others on the site, can already see 3 other ppl before me.

[spiritalk]

We are the fertile soil of a garden and it is being turned over making room for new seeds of progress.  Believe me, you are not alone!  There are so many people who find their lives in this flux of change.  Everything is going wrong, before we can find the right.

Sometimes taking one thing at a time helps to focus our energies for the right changes to occur.  

We have tools of our own consciousness (visualization, meditation, affirmation) and we can use them to empower ourselves for the changes we are making to be positive and uplifting.  Begin each day with a ritual time of affirmation (I like: God is in His heaven and all is right with my world...it is peace and calm...one of your own choosing would work as well...keep it simple) then repeat it during the stresses of your day and make it your last thought before sleep at night.  In this way, you will be leaving all your dramas, traumas, stresses in God's hands for solutions to appear.  Try it, it works!  

Also add a protection exercise.  This acts as a filter for all negativity from within and without to allow you to centre your own energies.  The white light bubble technique works wonders for body, mind, spirit.  Just visualize a bubble around your whole body (eventually you can add family and others to your environmental bubble) similar to a bubble blown from a child's soap bubble pipe complete with the rainbow patch (rainbows are such wonderful magical, mystical symbols of bridges, connection, communication, complete with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow).  Allow it to be opaque to handle all those random energies we all generate.

Just some thoughts to help ground and protect....

[swetha]

hi Deb,
i hope u r feeling better now:))
u know what.. i always believe what goes down must come up...so the coming up phase will start once again and things will look brighter and solutions will seem all the more easier.

[NoobixCube]

One thing I often do is erect a "bubble" as spiritalk calls it.  Although I see it less as a bubble but more like a suit of armour.  Another thing that seems to help is a breathing technique.  Just close your eyes and visualise yourself breathing in white, and breathing out black.  It really makes you feel more positive to breathe in white.  And if you're uncomfortable about breathing black energy out in the home, imagine it coming out into a bottle .  The technique works in reverse too...  My ex girlfriend would often be stressed to the verge of falling apart.  I'd close my eyes and try and visualise her "aura" for lack of a better word.  One time there was so much blackness it looked like a great big cloud of squid ink underwater.  I visualised myself breathing in the black from her and breathing white back into her - I didn't tell her I was doing it but she started feeling better after a while of me doing it.  Meanwhile I'd breathed in so much blackness it had made me feel physically ill - I was actually feeling nauseous and developing a headache.  Just an example of how powerful this technique is, and that if you keep too much blackness in you, it will manifest itsself physically.

[Sophe]

Deborah -

It pains me to see you in this mindset. You know there is a saying that God only gives us what we can handle...so he must have alot of faith in you to give you all these different opportunities to learn from.

Do we care? Of course we do. But it shouldn't matter whether we do or not because you must love yourself and sometimes it takes these "hard" times to really see who we are. Once you start seeing the real you and dealing with all the crap we put on ourselves through the many years..things will get better.  

Remember change your thoughts and it will change your life..today is the prologue for the future..what are you going to do?

Sophe

[Abhishek]

hey deb... i love youand thats all i can say.

Abhishek

[Deborah]

I dont even know how to reply what anyone has wrote .............

I know things have to change I know this .. just finding my way ........

Today  I was told .. I was outragiously priced - well welcome to the real world thats what I cost!

Yesterday my stupid husband told me he had a 20 year ITCH .. and felt like scratching it .......................I tol dhim he was a ------------ I cant say that on here!

and my daughter is going to be 16 and thinks she needs a 10,000 dollar birthday party

I was told by the lady who was going to sue me .................she was sending me a olive branch ..............I want to write back to her soo bad ...so i can cram it up your ______!


I tried getting out of the house ...........going and doing stuff with real ppl ............Im sorry if that is real .. Ill stay inside !
I spent time with a cousin - who told me of her new bf - she oviously has no respect for him or i would not know the info I know now ........will i ever be able to eat dinner with them .. NO not without thinking nasty thoughts!
and then went to another friends home .........who is going through a divorce ... wa wa wa her parents helped her out bought her a new car / gave her a family estate .........yes they didnt like her hubby needless to say .........and she is telling me how broke she is omgggggggggg yea with theearings she had in her ears I could eat for a month! gesh!!

Im not a selfish person.. at least I dont think i am ..........I dont tollerate much .. i get fed up easily and my stack blows.

and on top of this my dreams of india have returend ..........is the dreams nothing more than my escape ...........or is there more?  they returned before all of this other stuff came about.

so today i get a message from a indian friend that says i should open a play group in india ..........with a very strong Western name ...........

I think I shall crawl under my desk ..................and live there!

[NoobixCube]

I noticed something very important in that post.  For some reason, I could feel a sliver of hope leaking through it all.  Things seem impossible now, but there's always hope.  When Zeuss created Pandora's Box, he filled it with all of the evil, cruelty and suffering that's in the world today, but one god was merciful, and he put in Hope, so that we may deal with it.  I know, from experience, that as long as you hold hope, you can make it through anything (figuratively speaking of course, Hope isn't going to stop a bus :P).  When you lose hope, it's like losing sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.  You should evaluate your position, compare it to what you always dreamed your life would be like now.  If the way things are aren't to your liking, do everything you can to align it with your dreams.  If you like working with kids, you could open a day care centre or play group, maybe in India, maybe not.  Or maybe you could go to University and learn to teach (unless you already have, I've got no idea of your academic history :P).  What I guess I'm saying is, the present is set in stone, so's the past, but we all have the power (or if you've read another post of mine, the sufficiently convincing illusion of the power) to make the future what we want it to be.  Nobody in this world is powerless to change their circumstances.  I mean, if you're dreaming of India, and this will seem like an overly simple thing to say, but just roll the idea around in your mind, why not just go to India?  It's a lot of work, but in the end we're always told that rewards come from hard work.

[swetha]

hi Debbie,
knowing u.. i am sure u will get over it soon...its just that u need to find a way to solve all the diff issues:)
things do work out u know... or in other words..u need to make them work out.
u take care
swetha

[spiritalk]

Our way to remain balanced is to go into the peace centre of our own being.  No one else can design how you feel about the world...only you can make that choice for yourself.  If others' lives are going to h...l in a handbasket and you can see it...why tell them?  They have to live it...maybe it is their lot in life!  Remain in peace and you can project peace.

Today, I got an invitation to join a peace iniative that will allow that a 15 minute meditation will spread my peace out to 20 km of my existence.  Why not?  Send peace and you will reap peace...it is the law.  What goes around, comes around...cause and effect.

[Vishwas]

What goes around comes around 3 times more.