Five, oh five... What to do with you?
I have had a lot of experience with negativity... Not just with five, but also nine and eleven and Pinnacle 7/Cycle 1. It still amazes me that I have not run away from home, gone on a crazed killing spree, thrown myself into hardcore drug-abuse, or committed suicide in some elaborate way that would drive my parents to do the same. But more than anything, it amazes me how someone as gifted, and outright positive as myself could -ever- be convinced they were evil, weak, and unwelcome.
A full third of my name is composed of 5's. My two first Challenges are 5 - which is very fitting, given my 14/5 Karmic Debt number. Destiny number is 5 (or 77/5, if you like). Maturity number is 5.
When I went to school, I was the perfect charismatic verbal bully (influenced by my basic definitions at the time; right = strong, wrong = weak) - I would pick on the weak, and the whole class would laugh at them. They would cry, I would torment them more.
For the last four years (after one and a half year of soldiery, six months of which I was stationed abroad under the UN) I've been smoking cannabis daily (in fact, it's less than a month since I quit - and may I say, I'd forgotten how wonderful dreaming was).
I dislike being told what to do - unless I have already accepted the would-be commanders leadership beforehand, I am more likely to do the opposite, or nothing at all, just to demonstrate that I can.
I weigh about 30-40 pounds less than I should (based on my height) - I just realized (right now) that my main 'drug' throughout my life has been sugar - as a matter of fact, I spent around $1.200 this month at the dentist.
I'm a virgin. (I've feared love and hated women up until very recently, and now, I'm not about to start having sex 'just for the hell of it').
For no particular reason, when I was about 18, I went to sleep with headphones on, playing a track on loop encouraging self-destruction (the last track on the Fight Club soundtrack -
This is Your Life) just to see if I could brainwash myself, and to see what would happen if I did.
In short, I've made quite a mess of myself, and I've been spending the last few years cleaning myself up, spiritually as well as physically.
Some of the above tendencies are very five, and one or two are very un-five - this is most likely due to my other values; Life Path 9, Personality 11/2, Soul 3. And, considering the Life Path 9, some of the above are disastrous, if not an outright karmic catastrophe.
My personal interpretation of five (as a destiny number) is freedom of thought, leading to evolution - humor, leading to youthfulness, or, put simply, the ability of bringing change, big or small, for better or worse.
Fun bonus facts:
The same day M'lady Raka made a post about triple digit numbers, I received a new credit card with the pin number 7770. (Randomly generated, I was the first (and only) human to ever see that piece of paper).
The 29th of November, 2007 (Universal Year 9, Personal Year 7, Universal Month 11/2, Personal Month 9, Universal Day 22/4, Personal Day 11/2) I won what amounts to roughly $12.000 in the lottery - guess what my lucky number is - my reading says 2, but I know better.
So I guess I'm on the right track - live and learn.
Cheers!
