Advice on a reading i just received

[dragon_of _shadows]

Hello and thank for coming to help me.

i'm 19 and trying to get married in march. over the past 5 or so years i've always been depressed even if there seemed to be no real reason. i used the tarot generator here with the celtic cross. my question was "what is my cure for depression"

as a result i was basically told that im too overindulgent, that i will have marital problems and i'm being too hasty in all my decisions. also that i will be losing friends(which i agree with) ad that there is a lot of misfortune and bad luck for me.

so i'm wondering if i correct myself, could this marriage thats happening soon go over well? could i possibly have a reading from someone?

i'm stressing a little too much over this but i believe in the cards and he is the only one who got me to stop cutting. please help.

[cedars]

Wow, wow,Dragon! Hold on my friend, you are going too fast.

First and foremost - forgive me for commenting on this first - why in the world would someone of 19 years of age want to get married before he/she has has had a chance to live life? Are you being forced to get married or early marriages are part of your culture? If it is, I am very sorry to hear it. I can almost feel that marriage itself is driving you to depression.

And, what do you mean by ''I am trying to get married in March''?  Trying? A marriage as close as next month, where does ''trying'' come into it? You make it sound you are trying to reach a deadline by March 2010. What is this all about my friend?

As for asking a mechanised tarot system on answers for the cause of your depression, I cannot comment on that except that depression is a clinical thing and should be handled by a medical professional rather than the cards or any form of psychic forum. We do not here give readings on health matters and this should be referred to a doctor. Please check the guidelines about how to ask for a reading at the top of this forum.

My opinion of your impending marriage, whether it is going to go well or not is irrelevant, but I have certain reservations concerning your current emotional state.

It looks to me you yourself need help, let alone entangling your life into taking further responsibilities such as marriage.

Think well my friend.

Feel free to come back.

All the best to you.

[Payewacker]

Hi Girl,

I need to make this absolutely clear! The Pm you sent me, will be answered in this posting, which is public, as you requested assistance publicly.

You are Leo, as I am. Depression is not one of the negative traits in our "being" We are ruled by the Sun, and as such should have a progressive and totally positive outlook on life. And yes, at your age, Leos tend to be overeager, and just too impulsive, etc.... Read your Zodiac sign, but study it extensively, maybe you will understand yourself much better!

However, it can happen to any person, and inevitably you need to get to a dr, and most definitely a psychiatrist! Depression is also caused chemically within your own body! It relates to enzymes or chemical compound transmitted from one cell to the other. It happens that the cell wall is not strong enough, and thus, these chemical compound are scattered "helter-scelter, this is rectified with Anti-depressants. Cutting yourself, please don't do that it's degenerative and a viscous cycle. This is inherent created within your mind and it points to an un-natural influence on your earlier life!

You are in the prime of your life, my dear, get yourself together!

I want to venture as far as when you were small, although I have never met you, statistics show that negative events, happening to you when you are very young, lead to psychological problems when you are older. Sit yourself down, and explore your past, find that point, and deal with it, assisted by those who love you, and those who have the knowledge about these influences on your psyche.

The first and foremost point of advice I can give you, is to learn to love yourself first, before you know and understand how to love someone else. Getting married is not a "if" question. Either it happens or not! Just make sure you are getting married for the right reasons.

As Cedars said, an electronically generated reading, gives you only the very basic meanings of the cards, there are a lot more at stake and considerations when having a live reading.

It may also be in your interest to get yourself so busy, that you don't have time to watch soapies on tv, and ponder all your problems, driving you into a deeper state of depression.

Furthermore, depression is a mindset, you create over years, therefore don't think it will "suddenly" dissapear". You truly need to change your perception of yourself and attract a more positive approach. You, can do miracles in your own life, if you put your mind to it!

Blessed be.

[dragon_of _shadows]

thank you very much cedars and pay.

Someone had sent me a message saying they were sorry i got such mean messages  on my forum. I call it learning from my elders.

I'm a socially awkward person, so I felt i would be a bother asking for someone to give my a reading. Which is why I used the generated reading. Even then, the reading was spot on so it kind of freaked me out.

And Cedars, I said trying to get married because we dont have that hot a memory so we figured we should get married on the date to started dating. I realize i do need to try to be more responsible (which is another thing the cards said i'm not) but my whole life i have lacked the will to do anything. Most of my life i have felt like a  zombie. Ask much as i hate kids at the moment I realized all i want is a family. I want to raise my kids the way I should have been. And i will be more intelligent than my mom, i will wait a few years after marriage. Yes I should enjoy my life being young, i agree. But I never felt like i had much a childhood anyway, I want a family and I'm trying to prepare my mind for it. That is my only desire out of life. A child.

Paye,

I'm glad you replied here. I only sent you the message asking you to see my forum.

My sisters have always called me a baby and told me i always just make excuses for as long as i can remember. I always believed them. They always shut me out and brought me down. So it makes me happy to hear someone on me and my fiances side that it is just a chemical issue about my depression. My mom forced to go see professional help. i only went to two sessions and she already thought i was bi-polar and she wanted to give me drugs. So I stopped going, and also because i didnt want to make my mom waste her money. And as far as the cutting goes, when i was younger it was everyday. now i've gotten somewhat better and there is multiple months inbetween each cut. from how it was back then to what it is now, i feel like i have made an improvement.

I could go seek pro help but it all angers me. i feel that they are just in it for the money and they all want to hand out drugs and call that a cure. a reason i'm happy that i found this place. first i stopped coming here because it didnt seem like many people were on. i remember cedars has helped me out before.  So when i came back last night i thought i could get some help. here if people comment, i feel they actually kind of care. it may be through a computer but i get these vibes that tell this person is being an ass. Also, i could talk to my family but they would say the same thing they have been saying for years. "oh Dragon! You're not like that! you dont really think like that!"


So thanks guys for being honest. and thanks for the replies. at least it was something. Also want to apologize for this being so long and my first one for being  unclear. it was one or two in the morning, i was a little tired.

[cedars]

And Cedars, I said trying to get married because we dont have that hot a memory so we figured we should get married on the date to started dating. I realize i do need to try to be more responsible (which is another thing the cards said i'm not) but my whole life i have lacked the will to do anything. Most of my life i have felt like a  zombie. Ask much as i hate kids at the moment I realized all i want is a family. I want to raise my kids the way I should have been. And i will be more intelligent than my mom, i will wait a few years after marriage. Yes I should enjoy my life being young, i agree. But I never felt like i had much a childhood anyway, I want a family and I'm trying to prepare my mind for it. That is my only desire out of life. A child.

All this to me sounds like you are trying to mend the past by putting yourself into something even more complicated. If you don’t have that ''hot a memory’’ then are you sure you are right for each other? Why don’t you just take it easy rather than assume that marriage will give you hot moments? If you don’t have ‘hot’ moments now, do you think having a child crying in the middle of the night will add passion in your life or marriage? Your desire to mother a child I’m afraid is once again to repair and mend your past in some way or another which I do not have the right medical or psychoanalytical word for it, if there is one. There are no quick fixes to life my dear. You have to take and look at the past rather than assume another major step will heal or wipe off the past. It may do for a little while, but it will hit you back with vengeance at a later date.

You hate kids and you want one in order to amend and correct something. Some things cannot be amended or rectified in such a straightforward manner. Please, please think twice before you take that big step of mothering a child and then facing further issues in the process. Please take my next statement as a compliment rather than a criticism: you are a child yourself at the age of 19 and why would you wish to complicate your life with marriage, a child and all that which comes along with them….? Who says you have to spend the rest of your life with this man if you don’t find ‘hot’ things to do with him? Go back to being a friend with him and see if you are compatible in that arena..

You will have your child am sure sooner or later; have it when you are ready for it mentally and emotionally – not to correct something about your life by creating another life. I do not believe that is the answer.

Please seek help my dear girl.

Hugs and blessings to you.

[dragon_of _shadows]

i suppose i do need help. hopefully within a few years i'll be ready for a family...

[kybunker]

I have found over the years, when I feel like my head is spinning from all the complications of life, that if I took on the practice of meditation, I was able to handle all the chaos,
Soon the chaos was no longer seen as chaos and more of a challenge to learn from.

You'd be suprised at what you learn about yourself when you allow yourself to listen.

Prioritize your goals, First thing is first, You
I honeslty would wait until 2011 or further to get married,
During this time you are planning it, allow your life to be filled with new experiences so you have something wonderful to share with your kids when you have them.
No one wants to hear about the horrors of our childhood, they want to hear how we became at peace with ourselves and the past.
Our kids especially.

Take some time out and just meditate, be quiet and still, just let it happen.
It's hard learning patience isn't it

We tend as a society to think that marriage and children are our next steps in life.
But so many forget to learn about who they are first, what they can do, then they end up being 40 and blaming everyone else for their lives.
You don't want to do that.

You want to be free of all that.
Take some time.
Kelley

[kybunker]

Pick yourself up some fairy or angel ORACLE cards.
They are different than tarot.

keep us updated!

[sweetsunray]

dragon_on_shadows:

I am not a psychiatrist nor psychologist, but I do know that bi-polar and depression are treatable with medication, insofar that medication can rebalance the chemicals and hormones in your brain which cause bi-polar syndrome and depression. Of course, the pills are not enough. They help to reduce the physical causes in your brain, but they do not help to heal the mental and emotional scars you got over the years in your past. The latter requires counseling and therapy, either in group or individual depending on the diagnosis.

Three times I experienced depression symptoms, the last time there were euphoric symptoms too. But in all three cases my therapist identified different causes and different treatments.

- My first time I was 20 years old, and had been having a deficiency in my minerals in my blood. I had a depression stemming from physical exhaustion. I was put on minerals to get my iron deficiency in order again, as well followed talk therapy with a psychologist for 3 months, in which I saw him first every week and then only every 2 weeks.

- The second time I was almost 24. I found myself crying on the kitchen floor on 1st of january and yet could not explain why. So first I was checked for iron deficiency again. My normal house doctor put me on anti-depressants (which need several weeks before they can kick in and work), before I had my first consult with a psychiatrist. She wanted me off the medication ASAP, and built it off again. She diagnosed me with an identity crisis, that followed from my relationship (which I had been in for 5 years by then... not a bad guy, but we just couldn't talk and understand each other, and I had locked away who I was to make it work) and problems in my youth where I had been ignored for about 7-8 years by my peers. I went half a year on personal individual visits, and then had 1.5 year of group therapy.

- The third time I rode it out all by myself when I was 27-28, refusing to go back to my psychiatrist because of feelings of shame. I thought I knew the cause - a broken heart - and I would be over it quickly. I wasn't. Only after I had conquered it did I realize that my behvaiour might be bi-polar. That's when I went to visit her again. She had a one time conversation with me, listened to my story, and said that the crisis and episode was over, and therefore she could not make a diagnosis on whether I was actually bi-polar. But she agreed that what had happened in my life might have brought the crisis on. She advized me to come to her if I felt slipping again. I promised myself I would never go through what I went through on my own ever again. That was 9 years ago. However, I have had no need to visit her or any other doctor anymore so far.

So, you see, there are professionals out there who do what they do in order to help you, and who do not proscribe medicine to make medicine. Only they can make a diagnosis, and no depression is the same as the other, nor does it need to have the same cause. If you truly have bi-polar syndrome then it is perfectly treatable, but it will take time and will include medicine.

[dragon_of _shadows]

if i get time and money i'll check myself in.....

i only wanted a reading, and instead i got people telling me to see a shrink. kinda funny.

[cedars]

Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh at your last comment Dragon...

I don't even remember how this thread started now... Sometimes threads go up, down, left and right... It sounds like you are still firmly in the Centre

Take it easy my friend.  :smt003  :smt003

[sweetsunray]

Dear dragon_of_shadows,

I cannot help but note that your words contain a tone of sarcasm, and overstate the reflection of the feedback you received, which makes me think you feel hurt. I'm sorry if that is the case.

We only advized you to go see a doctor with a specialty most appropriate because of what you mentioned yourself. If someone would come in here asking for a reading and mention several times their leg hurts, how they cannot walk on it and self-diagnose by saying they think it might be broken, then we will very sensibly advize them to visit a doctor and have sme x-rays taken.

We all have the power to take control over our own lives, including our health, and the first way to do that when we feel helpless on a certain area is by seeking help or advice with a specialist.

I wish you all the best

[Rhutobello]

if i get time and money i'll check myself in.....

i only wanted a reading, and instead i got people telling me to see a shrink. kinda funny.

Maybe good advices is better then any reading.

Now, since none of us have the skill to say you need a shrink, we only react upon the information given.

As said...you are in control of yourself.......but sometimes is it hard to recognize that we need help....especially if the brain is involved.

I don't think you find a single person who have  Bipolar that think he/she need help....why....because the illness is on or "Brain"
When we are ill other places, we feel it, we know we have to get rid of it...when the brain is involved then the same thing that shall evaluate is ill, and then many times don't manage to recognize the need for help.

I myself have experienced how the Brain can fool one, I know how real the unreal can be seen....few or none can heal themselves, but they can get great improvement if they realize that they need help, and undertake the challenge in improving ones own life quality.  

Good luck whatever you chose

[dragon_of _shadows]

there was sarcasm in that ^-^  the fact that i asked for a reading and how it got off track amuses me.

i don't care that you all suggest i seek medical attention, and i understand why. thanks all for help and concern. makes me happy to see the whole world isn't full of complete asses